NEWSBYSUSAN ISENBERG

Picture this, it’s Christmas Day 2010.  For some people, the only gift to open is their mind.  And that can be painful. Maybe Mrs. Fischer down the hall at the We Care nursing home is the lucky one.  She has a revolving door of visitors beyond her regular family visits … heads of state, royalty and her favorite visitor Bing Crosby.

Three rooms down from Mrs. Fischer is Tom’s room. The window to Tom’s mind is shut, for he dare not expose his bridled past. Tom was a pharmacist in this small Mississippi town – a damn good one. Visions of RX numbers dance in his head; he could rattle off half the town’s ailments … Evelyn Harris – arthritis, Rusty Simms – high blood pressure, Millie Williams – depression.

As well liked in the community as Tom was, he kept to himself most of the time and never married. When the time came and Tom could no longer live independently, the only eldercare facility in the area, We Care nursing home, was glad to take him. And why not, he served his country, he paid his taxes – good ole American values. But would We Care care for Tom if they knew whom he had loved?

We Care may be fictional, but as baby boomers age across our country, and in small towns in particular, there are many Toms and Millies living in physical and/or emotional isolation because of fear of ridicule or even bodily harm. SAGE, Service and Advocacy for GLBT Elders, in 2010 received an unprecedented grant from the Department of Health and Human Services to establish a way to connect to people like Tom and the people who care for them. This lifeline to so many gay older adults is the National Resource Center on LGBT Aging.