NEWSLGBT ADOPTION

Just when things start going pretty well, something pops up and throws a wrench in the whole endeavor. That’s how it is for me, anyway, and that’s how it is for LGBT people living in Illinois this week.

It only took a couple of months after Illinois Governor Pat Quinn signed the civil union bill into law for the haters to strike again. State Senator David Koehler has slipped an amendment that would make it legal for religious institutions to discriminate against LGBT people in adoption and foster care.

Oh, and did I mention that the bill this is attached to is designed to help the blind? That’s low, man.

So, I guess it’s more important to allow religious adoption agencies to be allowed to turn away perfectly good parents for no good reason, than to allow kids who need parents to live with gay people. All in the name of God, I guess. This is just another instance where people try to hide behind religion in order to justify personal biases, and the legislature totally has their backs.

Break out the cigars and the blue balloons, Martin Gill is officially a father to two beautiful boys.

Last week, in a family court in Miami, FL, Gill legally adopted the two boys in what certainly should have been a joyous, albeit not unusual, proceeding. Except that Martin Gill is gay. And so is his partner. And gay adoption has been illegal in Florida for 33 years. Well, it had been, at least.

Six years ago, Martin Gill and his partner became foster parents to two boys, brothers, in what was supposed to be a temporary placement. They struggled with illnesses and distrust and socialization, and so many of the things that foster parents must face on a day-to-day basis. Plus the fact that they were parenting in a state that explicitly believed them unfit to do so. So when Martin Gill petitioned as a single man (Florida has no same-sex marriage recognition) to adopt the boys, his petition was denied on the basis of his homosexuality. The only thing standing between those boys and a secure life with adoptive parents was 33 years of bigotry on the books.

As a helpless Anglophile, one might think that I would have some fuzzy feelings toward Australia. At the very least, I must have some sort of sisterly connection. Here we are, the offspring of a once mighty British Empire. Only they got to keep the parliamentary system and English spelling.

But I never felt the same affection for Australia as I felt for, say, Canada. Mostly it’s because I don’t want to deal with the risk of death every time I put on my shoes. (Also, don’t steal the name Oz. I live in Oz. Do you have a Tin Man or a Wicked Witch or a Cowardly Lion?)

Because I have not pinned all my irrational hopes for Utopia on Australia, one would not assume that I could feel utterly betrayed by this island continent. And yet, here we are.

On December 27, the Daily Telegraph reported that a decision made by the New South Wales Administrative Decisions Tribunal says, in no uncertain terms, that the law allows religious charities to ban gay foster parents. The tribunal reversed an original decision that ordered Wesley Mission – the church in question – to change its policies and pay the gay couple AUD 10,000. But this decision was overturned because the New South Wales Anti-Discrimination Law provides broad exemptions for religious practice.

If you’re like me, you find this massively annoying. Go ahead and deprive innocent children of loving homes! As long as God says it’s O.K.

Today is National Adoption Day, a day "to raise awareness of the 123,000 children in foster care waiting to find permanent, loving families." Many of those families include LGBT parents.

This year, we can celebrate that the more than 19,000 children in foster care in Florida now have a greater chance of being placed with a permanent family, now that the state has overturned its ban on adoption by gay men and lesbians. The Sunshine State had the harshest anti-gay adoption law in the country, and we can all rejoice in its demise.

Mississippi, however, still bans same-sex couples from adopting, and Arkansas, Michigan, and Utah ban unmarried couples (by definition, all same-sex couples in the state).

And because today is also the Transgender Day of Remembrance, I should note that while no state bans people from adopting because of their gender identity, biases exist that may still hinder the process. (The Human Rights Campaign offers some tips for transgender people wanting to adopt.)

"Kenny" is a 15-year-old who was removed from his biological family seven years ago due to unsuitable living conditions. He's been a ward of the state of Illinois ever since, bouncing around the foster care system. He's been through numerous foster families and group homes. His most recent group home experience was disastrous; he was bullied incessantly, and decided life would be safer on the streets.

"Kenny" was soon in touch with Lutheran Child Family Services of Illinois. The organization was trying to find "Kenny" a more suitable home. And it looked like they had found that, with the household of Fred Steinhauer and Matt Nalett, a Chicago gay couple. Nalett works regularly attends meetings in the city's Boystown area with a teenage homeless group, which is where he first came into contact with "Kenny." The 15-year-old is now coming to terms with his sexual orientation, and now identifies as gay.

Having interacted with "Kenny" in the youth group, Steinhauer and Nalett were in touch with Lutheran Child Family Services about becoming foster parents to him. They passed a home inspection. They met with state child welfare workers and "Kenny's" therapist. And they cleared all background checks. But just before the foster parent situation could be finalized, Lutheran Child Family Services balked. Why?

Because they have a policy that says they won't place children, no matter how vulnerable, into foster families where the parents are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. Apparently, they'd much rather see kids out on the streets.

Actor Adam Carolla has built his career on tickling people's ribs. His latest remarks about gay people, particularly gay parents, are anything but amusing. Quite the opposite.

Carolla recently sat down with the website PopEater to discuss his childhood, Republican preference and why he would rather a straight couple raise his kids. "If something happens to me, I'd rather my kids were raised by a heterosexual couple rather than a gay couple, all things being equal," explained Carolla. "I just believe a mom and dad is better than two dads or two moms. I don't believe this, I just know this. I'm an atheist, it's not a religious thing, it's a nature thing."

While he would prefer gays over junkies, says the father of twins, if a gay couple and straight couple are on equal economic footing, he wants the straights on top.

Last week some major and important history was made in the state of Florida. For three decades, Florida has had an explicit ban on gay adoption, preventing scores of LGBT people from becoming legal parents. But that ban was lifted after Florida’s Third District Court of Appeals decision ruled it unconstitutional to deny rights to adoption based on sexuality.

The case was brought to court by foster parent Frank Martin Gill, who wanted legal rights to adopt two kids who had been under his care for six years.

"We are relieved that this process has finally come to an end," Gill said in a statement. "All children deserve a chance at finding a loving, stable, and permanent home."

As a result of the ruling, the check box for sexuality as an identifying characteristic on adoption papers throughout the entire state will be removed.

I don’t really like kids. I mean, I would never beat them, or anything. They just sort of grate on my nerves. And I know that kids are technically necessary for human beings as a species to remain, so I tolerate their piercing voices and inability to walk in a straight line at the farmer’s market. I’m just saying that kids aren’t my thing. But … I also cling the quaint belief that once a kid is here, it’s our responsibility to make sure they grow up as healthy and happy as possible. As a recent piece from Mother Jones points out, all too often, LGBT foster kids are being left in the dust.

The article recounts the story of Kenneth Jones, a gay teen who has been bounced from house to house because foster parents would not accept his sexuality. But his story is not isolated. For example, the article cites Jerry Walters, vice president of the Boys’ Home Association, saying that in a recent survey conducted by the organization, only 21 out of 246 families were willing to take in a LGBT child.

This is clearly horrifying; shameful, even. But the article gives some reason to hope. Several states have taken steps to address this horrible situation. Recruiting more gay and lesbian couples into the foster parent fold is one solution, but laws that strike at the ability of gay couples to adopt are counterproductive.

Remember the Grinch? The one who stole Christmas? He was a mean old bugger, who hated the Whos, and the Whos had a few theories about the origins of this unexplained disgust. "It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right. But I think that the most likely reason of all could have been that his heart was two sizes too small."

I have a similar theory about Charlie Crist.

Charlie Crist, current Governor of Florida and Senatorial candidate, can't seem to decide if he thinks gay people would be good parents or not. He is having the darndest time making up his mind. While this may seem a perfect opportunity for Charlie Boy to do some soul searching, get the facts, talk to gay people and the children they've adopted, let his heart grow a bit, he's taken a more classic political stance. He just keeps changing his opinion.

The Great Confusion appears to have begun a little over a year ago, on a day in Florida known as "Explore Adoption Day." Charlie, having just announced his Senatorial bid, told a group of reporters that when it came to overturning Florida's gay adoption ban, he'd have to "think about it." And so he did. For a few hours he really thunk about it. His conclusion? "I think Florida has it right right now." Meaning, he thought the gay adoption ban was just swell. A good Grinchy stance.

He stuck with that for a while, spewing that tired "a child is better when raised by a married mother and father" baloney. Then last month, something in Charlie changed. He released a letter, a statement of intent, if you will, outlining a number of gay friendly positions he was going to take in this election cycle. Civil Unions for all! Repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell! End the gay adoption ban! Had the governor's heart burst through its conservative shell of hate and inequality? Would Charlie Crist bring a big gay Christmas to Florida foster kids?

It’s always a bit annoying when scientific results come out stating something that seems obvious. “People are more likely to have healthy weights if they live in places where walking and cycling are more common,” for example. Here’s another: “Children of same-sex couples appear to have no inherent developmental disadvantage.”

The latter comes from Stanford University sociologist Michael Rosenfeld, who explains his findings in the latest issue of Demographics. (Thanks to Nan Hunter for the link.) While the results may be blindingly apparent to many of us (especially if we’ve read any of the other recent studies on children of same-sex parents), there are several reasons we should pay attention to this one.

Rosenfeld notes that many of the earlier studies have been criticized for using small samples. He therefore went for the biggest sample he could find: the U.S. Census, “the only nationally representative data set with a large enough sample of children raised by same-sex couples to allow for statistically powerful comparisons with children of other family types.”

He then looked at the children’s progress through primary school as a measure of child development. While he found that children of opposite-sex couples showed a slightly smaller chance of being held back a grade, it was because, “Heterosexual married couples are the most economically prosperous, the most likely to be white, and the most legally advantaged type of parents.” Once he factored in parental socioeconomic status, he concluded, “the disadvantage of children of same-sex couples (when compared with children of the most advantaged family group) is too small to be statistically significant.”