A Love for the Ages

by Dana Rudolph · 2010-06-28 16:15:00 UTC
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With the all-too-frequent news of LGBT struggles and strife, it is heartening to see good news once in a while. One story last week brought a smile to my face: the marriage of Henry Schalizki, 88, and Bob Davis, 89.

The men began their romance in 1945. They wed on June 20, 2010, in Washington, D.C. The Washington Post noted that their relationship has lasted “through the terms of 12 U.S. presidents, starting with Harry Truman.”

I cannot think of them, however, without also thinking of Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon who were together more than 50 years before they became the first same-sex couple to marry legally in San Francisco. Martin did not live long enough to know that five months later, voters rescinded the right of same-sex couples to marry in California. Whether that was a blessing or a curse is a question I leave to those who knew her personally.

I also think of Tom Casey Hopkins, 58, and Darrel Hopkins, 65, a couple recently profiled by Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders (GLAD). Darrel, a Vietnam veteran, retired from the Navy in 1982. He and Tom, who met in 1984, were legally married in Massachusetts in 2004, and are now fighting for the right to be buried together at a Veterans’ cemetery in Massachusetts. The Mass. Department of Veterans’ Services (DVS) had agreed, until federal officials told them that interring a same-sex couple could jeopardize federal funding of the cemetery. The couple’s experience was part of the arguments made by the state last month in a hearing challenging the section of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) that prohibits federal recognition of a same-sex marriage.

Stories like this are always bittersweet. Yes, we have a long way to go in our struggle for equal rights. But love that has lasted as long as that of these couples reminds me that while the opposition may fight with hate, we fight with love. I know where I’ll place my bets.

Photo credit: audreyjm59

Dana Rudolph is the founder and publisher of Mombian, a blog and resource directory for LGBT parents.
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