Americans: Do You Have a Family? Maybe Not.

If you are an unmarried cohabitating American without children, chances are your neighbors don't regard you as having a family. This is according to a New York Times article, which cites a survey by Indiana University sociology professor Brian Powell. The 2003, 2006, and 2010 survey found that "the majority of Americans" would call a cohabitating couple "family" if they were same-sex with children but not married, or same-sex without children but married. Yet the majority of survey respondents would not — perish the thought! — define a cohabitating gay or hetero couple as "family" if they were unmarried with no children.

The article headline? "Study Finds Wider View of Family" (bolded text is mine). Yes, it's wider because it includes long-overdue recognition of gay couples as family — well, of some gay couples. Not the couples who choose not to (or cannot) pursue the "traditional" relationship solidification routes of marriage and babies. And hetero couples who don't sign on the dotted line? Well, they don't count either.

Okay, so they're not a "family." So what? Is this just another one of the many inane, but relatively harmless, preconceived notion people have about unmarrieds? (Other fun facts about singles not supported by solid data include: single people have shorter lives, tend to be celibate/virgins/shy, and want a partner above all else.)

No. This cultural prejudice against non-nuclear families is a big problem, because it is institutionalized (see here and here)  in federal and state laws, disadvantaging unmarried and gay people. Those laws will never change unless the populace's prejudices do.

Or, dare I say it, unless the populace smartens up? Look at this quote from one high-profile old-school nuclear-family advocate, David Blankenhorn from the marriage advocacy group Institute for American Values (where not being married is downright unAmerican): "I like the standard definition of family: two or more persons related by blood, marriage or adoption. Keeps it simple and coherent."

By all means, simple and coherent. Never mind that life isn't simple and coherent. But Mr. Blankenhorn — and presumably other marriage-pushers like him — apparently prefers not to waste precious brain cells on solving the complicated, head-scratching formula Loving Person X + Loving Person Y = Loving Family.

Photo credit: WzDD