Be Yourself

"Be yourself" is a familiar phrase. The Quote Garden provides an extensive list of Quotes about Being Yourself. Psychology Today published an online article Dare To Be Yourself, which probes the idea of authenticity, of "being ones self," from a lot of directions, including the necessity of it for well being,

[Authenticity is] also a cornerstone of mental health. Authenticity is correlated with many aspects of psychological well-being, including vitality, self-esteem, and coping skills. Acting in accordance with one's core self--a trait called self-determination--is ranked by some experts as one of three basic psychological needs, along with competence and a sense of relatedness.

The Psychology Today article also discusses self-awareness and the need to understand both one's strengths and weaknesses and learn how to work with not against them. From outside the realm of anything-autism, the importance of being one's self is typically not argued against. People want to act in accordance with their core values and sense of self, and feel uncomfortable when they go against such.

So why is there so often a double standard when it comes to autism? Why suddenly is it vital for an autistic person to be something other than themselves, something much more like everyone else?

A new essay by Jim Sinclair, What Does Being Different Mean? eloquently, succinctly addresses these questions and many related, and echos the same message quoted above from Psychology Today,

Some autistic children internalize this message and accept "being normal" as their major goal in life. And it's been my observation that the more deeply invested an autistic person is in being normal, the more likely it is that he or she suffers from anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. It's a natural consequence of making one's top priority to become something other than oneself.

and

There has been ample demonstration that I can function more effectively by starting from a position of strength rather than one of weakness: that is, by presenting myself as myself rather than trying to become something else.

Being one's self may be difficult whether one is autistic or not. But it is also a critical key to health and success, whether one is autistic or not. Self-improvement always needs to be self-determined and in the service of becoming more fully one's self, acting in accordance with one's core, regardless of one's neurology.

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ~e.e. cummings, 1955