Behavior = Communication (It Just Makes Sense)

Sensory overload and difficulties with communication: These are the two main sources of major anxiety in individuals on the spectrum that I've heard mention of again and again from many people I've been in touch with. And they are the two things that Jim and I keep returning to when Charlie's gotten upset.

It's only been in the past year plus that we've really noted Charlie's extreme sound sensitivity. It's not only loud sounds that bother him, but high-pitched ones, no matter how soft. (He even puts his hands over his ears when he's sleeping if there's a noise.) When he was younger, there was a time when he'd sniff his food before eating it, and when he licked the salt of the potato chips before eating them. (I only figured out what he was doing with the latter because one of his ABA therapists said she used to do the same thing.) He definitely is alert to textures and likes his clothes to be light and loose and soft and not too bulky. (Wool sweaters? fuhgeddaboudit)

I have to shake my head when I find myself making a big deal about Charlie's sensory sensitivities as unusual responses to sensory stimuli were the one thing that Jim and I were quite sure that Charlie, when newly diagnosed, did not have. In those days, as now, Charlie's communication disability was a major concern; Charlie's initial diagnosis from the St Paul Public School District was, indeed, that he had a "communication disability" (I think they gave him that in part because I was so distressed about the whole situation; as you can see, things have been changed quite a bit).

I've been reading (thanks very much to Bonnie) a book called Autism Life Skills: From Communication to Safety to Self-Esteem and More---10 Essential Abilities Every Child Needs and Deserves to Learn by parent and professional Chantal Sicile-Kira. It's sensory processing, communication, and safety that Sicile-Kira notes are "the top three areas people [on the autism spectrum who are now adults] wished they'd received help with as children" in the book's introduction (p. xxii). The first chapter, "Sensory Processing: Making Sense of the World," encourages parents to keep their child's sensory issues in mind when addressing behavior problems and even when undertaking a Functional Behavior Analysis (p. 12). And Sicile-Kira also notes:

...behavior is communication, but we [non-autistic individuals] are not always so good on picking up what the message is. (p. 5)

Yet more reasons why life with Charlie means thinking differently, and taking things at a different, often slower pace and learning to pull carefully rather than push. As I've noted, Jim and I are quite the big talkers and a lot of being Charlie's parents and advocates has meant learning that what he does---his behavior---can tell us quite a bit about what he's thinking and trying to communicate to us. It also suggests why words aren't all they're cracked up to be, and why we've learned to use our other senses, in the hope of making better sense of things for Charlie.

Lavender image from Spicelines.