BREAKING: Obama Nominates 4-Year Old Alex Thurman as Director of Social Innovation

New nominee for Director of Social Innovation Alex Thurman shows off 'youthful exuberance' at announcement press conference earlier today.
In a bold move earlier today, President Barack Obama named 4 year old Alex Thurman of Chagrin Falls, Ohio to the post of Director of the Office of Social Innovation.
The White House Office of Social Innovation is the new platform from which the US government will support and inspire new social sector innovation. The office will likely oversee a Social Investment Fund for scaling high impact nonprofit programs, as well as a platform for sharing best practices among social sector leaders. Perhaps most exciting for many social innovators is the more direct pathway to the president and Congress. Whatever the specifics, it's clear that the young Thurman had captured the attention of President Obama.
Lauding Thurman for his stellar performance in Ms. Woodward's Green Apple nursery school class, the 44th president announced that the post would "give Mr. Thurman an even greater opportunity to expand his creativity, and to employ his youthful outlook in the service of the nation."
"Thurman is exactly the type of optimist this nation sorely needs right now," said the somewhat belleagured president. "His colorful outlook and willingness to work outside the lines make him the perfect person to help draw out the best of the social sector, improve nonprofit accountability and measurement, and invest in innovative new opportunities."
Reaction among social entrepreneurs was mixed. Teach for America's Wendy Kopp called the nomination "a bold move with possibly sweeping implication for the way our nation views the importance of education." Elsewhere, the reaction was less positive. Kevin Brennan, the United Kingdom's Minister for the Third Sector said only "argh, wankers." before hanging up.
Even as the announcement was happening, the Obama Administration was clearly preparing for a nomination fight. After the debacles starting with the withdrawn appointment of Tom Daschle and Timothy Geithner's past tax trouble, the administration is clearly touchy about the subject.
"Mr. Thurman's past record is impeccable. He has been completely forthright in his financial dealings and has consistently used his allowance for only the highest quality, American-made toys. In all of the past year, he's only missed three days of school, and that was for the Chicken Pox which he can hardly be blamed for," said White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel.
When asked at the initial press briefing if he worried that Thurman would be seen as too inexperienced for the post, President Obama paused, leaned half way over the podium, and whispered "Change." Added Emmanuel, "Ohhhhh snap."
Asked for comment on his new appointment, Thurman remained discreet, saying only, "I like tree frogs," and "My truck goes really fast. Zoom!"
So while Thurman's task is great, general Washington political consensus is that he can't be any worse than the rest of the chickenheads running around now.








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