Catholic Church: Gay Marriage Is Like Decaffeinated Coffee

by Michael Jones · 2010-09-07 07:46:00 UTC
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Those opposed to marriage equality have compared gay marriage to an awful lot of things. It has been compared to climate change, a national security threat, and even terrorism. But a Catholic official's latest comparison is enough to get even the smartest head scratching.

Speaking to Mexico's El Universal paper, Catholic priest and pontifical university professor Father Gonzalo Miranda said that gay marriage was akin to decaffeinated coffee. Apparently the best part of waking up isn't Folgers in your cup, but rather believing that gay people love differently from straight people

"A gay relationship is like decaffeinated coffee, you do not wake up,” Fr. Miranda said.

Sleepy gay people of the world, take note. Gay marriage is like a weak cup of Sanka compared to that Grande Americano from Starbucks.

Fr. Miranda's comments came in reference to California's Proposition 8, and the federal lawsuit last month that declared the ballot measure unconstitutional. Judge Vaughn Walker's ruling, that laws like Proposition 8 have no rational basis, really got Fr. Miranda's goat. Fr. Miranda was also upset with Mexico City's recent decision to legalize same-sex marriage. He continued by saying that voters of the world should have the right to determine which kinds of coffee deserve full equal rights.

"What just happened in California is very significant,” Miranda said. "On two occasions people spoke out against the legal recognition of gay marriage and twice a judge changed the popular vote with a ruling. In Mexico, I don't know well the mechanism used, but the people were not consulted, there wasn't a referendum either.”

Hey, if gay marriage gets to be like decaffeinated coffee, can religious leaders like Fr. Miranda be compared to sour grapes? Because his argument, that judges can't have the final say on civil rights, seems a little tart.

Meanwhile, Mexico City just announced that in the six months that they've recognized gay marriage, 400 same-sex couples have tied the knot. Here's a hearty congratulations to those folks. Here's hoping that y'all received fancy espresso machines as wedding presents. Raise that coffee cup high this morning, and make a toast to full equal rights for everyone, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.

Photo credit: journeyscoffee

Michael Jones is a Change.org Editor. He has worked in the field of human rights communications for a decade, most recently for Harvard Law School.
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