Do You Know What a Feminist Man Looks Like?

If you take the homophobia and misogyny out of masculinity, what's left? This is the question Courtney E. Martin poses in her recent American Prospect article, "What's the Alternative to Tucker Max?"

Reporting on the National Conference for Campus-Based Men's Gender Equality and Anti-Violence Groups, which took place on November 6-7, Martin watched in concern as one of the event's organizers covered a chalkboard with suggestions from the audience: Machismo. Violent. Homophobic. The gender-conscious young male attendees, at the forefront of a new gender justice movement, were well-versed in the negative characteristics equated with masculinity. But where was the companion list of positive characteristics that men should live up to?

"This generation is saying no to toxic masculinity," Martin writes. "But what are these young men saying yes to?"

As their growing gender consciousness inspires them to form praiseworthy groups like "Men Can Stop Rape," these young men are themselves at risk because they lack "a clear picture of what they want to build" to replace traditional macho, heteronormative masculinity. Martin worries that, overwhelmed by gender-guilt and without a positive model to strive for, these men will quickly become paralyzed or burnt out, depriving the women's rights movement of much needed allies. Unfortunately, there's little agreement on what the framework for that positive model could be; one conference attendee even argued against any construction of a "feminist masculinity," citing concerns that this would become "one more box that young men felt they had to fit into."

Of course, this is the same kind of argument I often hear from young women who, despite fully supporting gender equality, don't want to be "labeled" as a feminist. Which makes me wonder: Do men really lack an alternative to "toxic masculinity"? Or is it just that even these gender-conscious youths still have trouble fully identifying themselves as feminist--balking, like too many women's rights supporters, from a conception of themselves that should be empowering? Moreover, the concept of a "feminist masculinity" seems unnecessary, and if anything detrimental, to the goal of combating sexism and homophobia in that it continues to present men and their "masculinity" in opposition to women. What if everyone just worked toward being a decent (feminist) person?

In any case, Martin ends on a note that rings true: "Fighting against the world that we don't want is a critical first step, but fighting for the world that we do want is where liberation truly begins."

Photo credit: david drexler's Flickr photostream