"Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Impacts Children, Too

by Dana Rudolph · 2010-11-17 10:00:00 UTC
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Need another reason to want the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy repealed? Consider its impact on families with children.

Lesbian and gay servicemembers with children face additional pressures under DADT, explain Daniel Redman and Ilona Turner at The Nation. They may hesitate to get involved in custody battles for their children because doing so would reveal them as gay or lesbian and could lead to their dismissal. If they try to protect their family by marrying (even where it is legal), including a partner on a life insurance policy, or naming a partner as guardian of their legal children in case of their death, they also risk dismissal under the policy.

I had the honor of interviewing a military same-sex couple with children a couple of years ago, and they described even more about the personal impact of DADT on their kids. Their children cannot play with the other children on base or go to the base holiday party for fear of revealing that they have two moms. They don't have the support system of other military kids whose parents are also deployed.

And as I've written before here at Change.org, the financial and social benefits for military spouses and children are extensive -- and in no way guaranteed for lesbian and gay servicemembers even if DADT is repealed.

The impact on children is only one of many reasons the policy should be repealed, but it is an important one. I find it ironic that the party claiming to be "pro-family" is the primary one standing in the way of repeal.

(Photo credit: The National Guard)

Dana Rudolph is the founder and publisher of Mombian, a blog and resource directory for LGBT parents.

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