Drunk Baboons Raise Hell in Cape Town

They're raiding vineyards, terrorizing neighborhoods and passing out drunk in public. This isn't a group of reckless teenagers, but a troop of baboons in Cape Town, South Africa.

Every day, the marauding monkeys come down from the mountains into Cape Town's wine country to binge on the grapes. (The connoisseurs seem to particularly like the sauvignon blanc.) Some of them like to get drunk off the fallen fermented grapes and sleep it off in the sun. Others eat their fill and then go looking for a snack. Jean Naude at the Groot Constantia vineyard says the baboons are becoming increasingly bold — they rip the thatch off roofs and raid the kitchens.

They're not just making trouble in wine country; the nearby wealthy suburbs, including Nelson Mandela's neighborhood, have also been raided by the drunk baboons.

"A 12 year old boy was left traumatised after confronting a troop who had broken into his family home," the Telegraph reports. "Hearing noises from the kitchen, he went to investigate and found the beasts ransacking the cupboards. When the child fled upstairs to find his babysitter, three males gave chase and surrounded him as he made a tearful phone call to his mother, while the animals pelted him with fruit."

Since everyone came out of that confrontation okay, it's a pretty funny picture. And suburbanites complaining that they're "under seige" because "lunch parties in the garden are now just impossible" makes it seem like an amusing neighborly feud. But the reality is much more serious than that.

In addition to causing extensive property damage and terrorizing residents, several domestic animals ranging from chickens to a Great Dane have been killed in recent weeks. Baboons are strong animals with large teeth who can be aggressively territorial (if they're anything like their human cousins, the alcohol probably doesn't help). And, like most human-wildlife conflicts, this is territorial dispute. The baboons were in the mountains long before there was a Cape Town. Some of the vineyards have been in the area for hundreds of years, but the suburbs continue to sprawl into baboon territory.

Home owners and farmers used to just kill baboons who got in their way, until the monkeys earned protected status a decade ago. Now, residential areas employ 20 full-time "baboon monitors" to keep the animals out of residential areas and guards at the vineyards bang sticks, wave plastic snakes and sound off vuvuzelas to try and scare them away.

None of it is particularly effective and people are losing patience. Some are leaving the neighborhood, but others have convinced wildlife authorities to enforce a "three strikes" rule — any animal who repeatedly gets into trouble gets destroyed. It's like someone moving into your house without permission and then legally shooting you when you try to continue living your life.

Recently, the rule was carried out for the first time and a large, 14-year-old male was killed. Known as William, he had been a troublemaker for as long as anyone in the neighborhood can remember; they'd lived with his shenanigans for years. Now he's a symbol of human ego and intolerance.

Photo credit: Mister-E