Eggs, Lies, and Videotape

For some reason, I have a particular affinity for Big Ag propaganda. It absolutely delights me. I am drawn to it for the same reasons I like to listen to "Focus on the Family" broadcasts, or read books on how to become an "ex-gay," or even watch Glenn Beck. I take pleasure in the sheer ridiculousness of horrible assertions, both because the people making them are often their own worst enemies, and because if we didn't laugh, we might cry. On all of these fronts, Rose Acre Farms does not disappoint.

In April of this year, the Humane Society of the United States (HSUS) released an undercover video documenting the horrifying conditions at two of the three largest egg producers in the country, Rembrandt Enterprises and Rose Acre Farms. I highly encourage you to watch it, but I warn you, it is not for the faint of heart or the weak of stomach. It is a jarring reminder of why we should always buy pastured eggs, not conventional, or else do without eggs altogether. Later that some month, seemingly in response, Rose Acre launched a new section on their eyesore of a website: safe-hen cage farming. Yep.

Apparently caged hens are happy. According to Rose Acre, they are happy because they are safe; no inclement weather or predators (or fresh air or sunshine) can bother a caged, indoor chicken. Even better, they are kept clean in their cramped, crowded cages, because neither they nor their eggs ever touch the dirty floor. Because that would be icky. They assure those concerned about animal welfare that the United Egg Producers have set standard practices that protect chicken health, safety, and comfort — practices like de-beaking, "to prevent pecking and cannibalism." I guess even happy chickens just can't help themselves; chicken is quite tasty.

And in the grandest lie of all, Rose Acre claims that an unhappy hen won't lay eggs, so of course the "farmers" have a financial incentive to keep their hens as happy as possible (read: caged). Even better, the farm claims that a hen that isn't kept comfortable by, and I quote, "computer-controlled temperature control," won't be happy, and thus won't lay eggs. I guess all those cruel people who keep chickens in their backyard — in the outdoors — are just lucky.

Of course, as the Humane Society video proves, chickens can be downright miserable and still lay productively, and to say that these chickens are miserable is to put it very, very lightly.

In light of this, the HSUS has just filed an official complaint with the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) for Rose Acre Farms' "false and misleading statements" about humane conditions and happy chickens. It is a violation of federal law to deceive customers about your products, and one would be hard-pressed to find a clearer violation than to call a Rose Acre egg warehouse a "humane and friendly environment."

Naturally, I sincerely hope that the FTC recognizes the truth in this accusation and takes Rose Acre to task. But I must admit, I will be a little sad to see this completely cracked Web space disappear. It's a fine  testament to the extent that big agribusinesses will go to lie to our faces.

Photo credit: Ethelred