Ending the Gay Pedophile Myth, Once and For All

Here we go again ... officials inside the Catholic Church have once more deemed the seemingly endless instances of child molestation and pedophilia in the Church as a “gay problem." Frankly, I’m surprised it took this long for someone to blame it squarely and explicitly on us considering the stereotype “gay person as child molester” continues to creep behind the LGBT community, always lurking in the shadow of our shared consciousness, waiting to pop out and make us look like we’re despicable fiends, easily capable of the worst crime in the world.

It is the cross to bear of subjugated groups, an assignation of some sort of fundamental fault or flaw that bigots hang their hats on when making the case against us. Racists often characterize African-American men as beastly rapists, a ubiquitous threat to all white women. Women must counteract the notion that we are lascivious Jezebels, Delilahs who will ruin people’s lives if we’re left to our own malevolent devices. And on and on it goes throughout history and across racial, gender and ethnic bounds; oppressors tell the world a lie, usually centered on some sexual perversion or malfunction, and the world makes the lie a shared reality.

All too often, we in the gay community mistakenly believe that no rational human being could possibly believe that because we have same-sex attraction it means that we want to enact them on children. Because we know how ridiculous it is, we often don’t raise hell as often or as much as possible, believing that other people see the bad logic. Or, for many of us, being characterized as evil pedophiles curbs us from defending ourselves; the shame they’ve placed on us becomes a part of who we are as a culture, it silences us because in our darkest hour, we’re terrified that those around us really believe on some level that we have the capacity to molest children. Once and for all, we need to proactively, rigorously and consistently dispel this rumor. If we wait to defend ourselves, we’re only running on a treadmill, never able to get ahead of it. And worst of all, it isn’t even the gay community who is hurt the worst — it is the children who have been molested.

Already, pedophilia is a crime that goes vastly underreported as the victims take on feelings of guilt, shame and self-blame. Many psychologists believe this repression and silencing to be one of the most harmful effects of child molestation besides the act itself. Many victims carry this burden alone for far too long and as a result suffer irreparable, lifelong consequences. This terrible truth — the concealment of the crime — is greatly exacerbated by the connection of homosexuality and pedophilia. Young boys especially fear that they will be perceived as gay and therefore keep the secret longer than they ever should have to. In this way, homophobia is causing excruciating pain in our child victims.

For these reasons, we must equip ourselves with the know-how to blast these untrue allegations out of the goddamn water. In order to combat the lies, here are the most widely accepted ideas of what makes a child molester:

Access: There is a reason that a disproportionate amount of churches and youth organizations have chronic problems with molestation: they provide sex abusers with access to children.  For instance, in the Catholic Church, altar boys help the priests in various activities and often long periods of time, which gives sexually repressed men access, privacy and time. Simply put, it’s a matter of what’s available. In fact, most cases of sexual abuse occur between relatives, family friends or within the primary family unit. One study found that children are 36 times more likely to be molested by a husband or male partner (who has access) than a self-identified gay person.

Psychological Problems: This one could probably go without saying. The psychological field hasn’t yet determined one particular mental disorder which explains pedophilia, but they do agree that it is a result of some sort of abnormality which causes a fixation on children, whether that child is a girl or boy. Some believe that child molesters are “Peter Pans,” unable or unwilling to leave childhood, hence their preference for children. Others believe that the motivation of abusers is similar to rape; the perversion is about control and has little or nothing to do with gender.

Arbitrary Preference: What makes a celebrity stalker choose Kate Hudson over Kate Bosworth? Or what causes a rapist to single out victims of a particular race? Child molesters’ victim preferences vary widely — ages, gender, race, etc — and the cause for the preference is inexplicable. To relate preference to sexual identity isn’t only wrong, it’s purposefully irresponsible to children.

It isn’t acceptable for the gay community to rely on good sense from the public, religious and political figures or even our own friends and family to understand the difference between homosexuality and sexual abusers. We need to plaster our websites, blogs, Facebook statuses with messages concerning this terrible misconception. We must educate friends and families about the dangers of this line of thinking and the harm that it does not only to the gay community, but to the children who suffer at the hands of child molesters. If not, we’ll always be playing dodge ball with some guys in funny hats who throw us under a bus. Because hey, if someone has to get run over for the sexual abuse of dozens of children, surely no one will mind if it’s the gays. We have to make them mind.

Photo Credit: Chego 101