Father: My Transgender Daughter Is My Mentor

In the swarm of news stories about gay people being compared to contaminated peanut butter, or companies giving money to anti-gay politicians, or priests telling straight people that they'll go to hell for supporting gay rights, it feels about time for a breath of fresh air. That fresh air comes in the form of an awesome father, who spoke to Children's Hospital Boston about raising a 12-year-old transgender daughter.

Seriously, the whole post is worth a read, and if it doesn't brighten up your day, you might just want to pack everything up and head back to bed. Because the emotion this father conveys about how he, (1) not only loves his daughter, but (2) how she's taught him to love other things in life, is exactly what we mean when we start talking about transforming hearts and minds.

"It’s tough to put into words what a profound impact this small person has had in changing my core values, but since the young age of five, she has unknowingly encouraged me to open my eyes and heart to new ideas," the Father says. "I’ve watched her experience severe emotional pain and physical frustration, but thanks to support and guidance, I’ve watched as she’s become a confident, happy and healthy child. And as she changed, I changed too."

And grab that Kleenex right .... now.

The father goes on to talk about how he was raised as a "man's man" by his father, and taught fairly rigid views about sexuality and gender. Those views were only reinforced during a career in the U.S. military, where macho values were deeply instilled into many cadets.

He went on to get married, and raise a family with his wife. And though the father always wanted to ignore it, he knew that one of his kids was experiencing something different. "My baby, my beautiful son would begin to teach me that he was really my daughter," the father notes. And though change can be difficult, the father notes that his daughter (along with his wife) taught him one of life's most important lessons.

"I learned real change means acceptance—not tolerance—and an acceptance that includes equal rights and freedoms for my daughter as I’d want for her friends," the father said. "As I changed, I learned a lot from others too. People who were not on board with the needs of our transgender child taught me that changing people’s perception of 'normal' was essential, not just for my daughter’s safety, but for the safety of all children that are perceived as different."

Amen. And now this dad, and the entire family for that matter, want to make sure that all families have the resources they need to create safe spaces and safe environments for their transgender children.

The whole piece is worth the read. And it'll remind you, as has been pointed out elsewhere, that one of the most important things in the world can be supportive family and friends. Bravo to this dad, and to the hearts and minds his story will help change now, and in the future.

Photo credit: Andreanna Moya Photography