Female Troubles

Taboo though it may be, menstruation happens to half the world's population, and some of those it happens to are on the autistic spectrum. Menstruation can be zero (perhaps negative) fun for many women, and it may come with special annoyances (and a special place in Hell) for people with hyper-sensitivities, hypo-sensitivities, communication difficulties, and a deep dislike of change. A friend of Kristina's recently went looking for information about autism and menstruation to problem solve some difficulties her daughter was having, and found few web resources outside of "what is menstruation" and social stories, and little inclination for people to discuss it with her on message boards.

I'll launch here into "funny period stories from Dora's past" followed by some menstruation issues outside of the "social story" realm, but with a cut so those with delicate sensibilities can avoid the, er, mess...

My body developed rather faster than my communication skills did. So when I started menstruating, I didn't communicate about it to anyone. I took as few pads as possible from my mother's stash, made extensive use of wadded up tissues, and placed all soiled underwear behind my dresser, which seemed a perfectly reasonable set of actions to me at the time. Life went on... for several years... until--

I had been carted off to a girl scout camp (which I hated, but that's another story) nearly 100 miles from home, and was wandering in a vacant confused haze when a councilor, distressed, found me. "Your parents are here!" Even with the near-catatonic cluelessness of myself at that moment, I was shocked out of my stupor with the thought, "Oh no, who died!" because, well, why else would my parents drive nearly 100 miles to girl scout camp?

Terrified, I was lead somewhere. Terrified, I saw my mother running toward me in a panic. "I was cleaning your room," my mother gasped, "and I thought you might"--boxes of maxi-pads filled my field of vision--"need these!"

Ah yes, the stories from childhood that only become funny several decades later, heh.

OK, that was in part a little of humor to help dispel the taboo, but more seriously, while I knew full well what menstruation "was," my lack of expressive communication created a pretty major problem. And that wasn't the only major problem. There was also the issue of the cramps, low blood pressure, and other ill effects which completely confused me on every level. My internal body sense is very poor, so I would mistake cramps for needing to use the toilet, or (much worse) needing to use the toilet for cramps. Self care issues with cleanliness were a big problem. On top of that sensory issues with pads were so bad that menstruation was truly a nightmare event. As I've aged, I've found ways to cope with all of these things, but it would have been much better had I found those ways to cope as a pre-teen rather than as an adult.

I'm no expert on the "female troubles" (outside of my own of course) but at least some items that need to be considered for females on the spectrum and menstruation beyond the "social story" realm are:

1. Communication--communicating about it when it happens, self-advocating for needs related to it

2. Sensory and motor issues with feminine products--tampons or pads, cloth or paper, consideration both of what feels (from a sensory angle) least irritating and is within the person's motor capacity for managing

3. Internal body sense--managing pain or any other "sickness" associated with menstruation, the distinction between menstruation-related sensations and other body sensations

4. Schedule and hygiene--routines and schedules for managing feminine products, motor and executive function skills for maintaining hygiene, getting assistance if necessary

Since menopause is more my impending worry at this point, I'm not sure personally what resources there are "out there" for parents and self-advocates on the adolescent side of things. Perhaps people can share some of the resources they know about here.