Finding the Feminism In Motherhood

When we talk about women, we are often talking about mothers since 53.5% of women are mothers, they are on average around age 40 and 80% of women have children.

The discussion ranges from how influential they are in the market (very) - women comprise over 50% of the population, make over 80% of household purchasing decisions, and are expected to control 60% of all wealth by 2010 - to how influential they are in society (inadequate). Women CEOs equal a mere 15.7% in 2008 despite earning six out of 10 college degrees and making up 59% of the workforce.

But, what is a mom blogger? Is she a mother who blogs about any topic, or a mother who blogs mainly about parenting topics? Elisa Camahort Page, co-founder and COO of BlogHer, asked this question when I queried her about specific results of The 2009 Women and Social Media Study by BlogHer, iVillage and Compass Partners. I responded that I believed "mom blogger" describes a blogger who self-identifies as a mother mainly writing about parenting.

That distinction makes a big difference. How we define and think of mom bloggers and moms who blog might explain the perceived gap between mom bloggers and feminists, for example, and it might even explain the perception of moms who blog, whether about parenting or any topic.

Here's what the The 2009 Women and Social Media Study by BlogHer, iVillage and Compass Partners found (see methodology here):

Education level:

• 77% some college and beyond
• High school graduate or less: 16.8%
• Technical or trade school: 9.3%
• Some college/university: 39.1%
• Graduated from college/university: 25.5%
• Some post-graduate work: 3.1%
• Masters or Doctorate degree: 6.2%

Employment: 34% are solely SAHM:

• Employed full-time: 32.3%
• Employed part-time: 12.4%
• Managing my own business: 8.1%
• Managing my household: 34.2%
• Retired: 3.1%
• Student: 9.9%

Income level:

• Under $25K: 15.5%
• $25K-$34,999: 19.3%
• $35K-$49,999: 19.3%
• $50K-$74,999: 24.2%
• $75K-$99,999: 8.7%
• $100K-$124,999: 7.5%
• Greater than $125K: 5.6%

** General Population respondents who are both moms and who blog (any subject)

** Sample size=161

In short, moms who blog are well-educated, most are middle class, and only about a third are solely stay at home - middle of the bell curve for the population. In other words, it is the broadest and most diverse group.

So why are there so many homogenizing assumptions about the group?

I theorize it's the word mom. We hear that word and instantly think of our negative and reductive media induced stereotype of a woman who is raising children and our own personal prejudice. With this combination, it's hard to perceive moms beyond their parenting role and as a respect-worthy "professional."

As a result, anything prefaced with "mom" isn't likely to garner necessary support. Nevertheless, the feminist movement continues to frame issues that are, truly, "all of us issues" as "mom" or "women's" issues. Necessary ownership has migrated to marginalization. Consider fair pay. While framed as a women's issue, this has achieved a high-degree of opposition. However, when women are not receiving equal pay for equal work - regardless of why - it hurts these women personally, but it also harms society at large. Single mothers are three times more likely than men to be single income earners and they also overwhelm the lower earning quintiles, making them the largest at-risk group for public assistance (especially mothers).

It shouldn't need to be said, but clearly it must be: when women are harmed, we're all harmed.

Unfortunately, the women's movement hasn't succeeded in convincing enough men and women that these issues do affect us all and are essential to reform. Further, although many women do frequently work to improve conditions for women and children - whether as volunteers in Planned Parenthood clinics, on the PTA to improve education, or anywhere else - many are reluctant to identify themselves as feminist. We've been conditioned - by both sides - to see many roles as mutually exclusive from feminism.

It's clear that feminism has a PR problem. It's clear that women have a PR problem.

And that might very well be the actual gap.

The old maxims of "strength in numbers" and "divide and conquer" are definitely applicable here. Feminism needs to broaden its concept to acknowledge and value all contributions by all individuals who are working to improve the status of women, even if those efforts don't come under the auspice of the feminist flag. Women, especially mothers, need to appreciate that feminism is effort designed to improve quality of life for everyone by advancing the status of women.

I'd love to see more equitable representation of women in power positions, better media coverage of women and their efforts, a complete drop of the "Madonna" or "whore" black and white coverage of mothers in the media, and a better perception of the word mom and feminist.

Maybe then we can better see and appreciate that so many of us are working towards the same goals. Admittedly, right now, we're doing more parallel play versus interactive play, but that doesn't mean a total disconnect. There is a great deal of cross-over - it simply needs better publicity.

To that end, the MOMocrats and Fem 2.0 are joining to host a live chat: Fem2.0 Twittercast: Feminism is Where You Are/What You Do.

MOMocrat Cynematic wrote, "No matter where we are in our respective life cycles...if you're a feminist, you've probably brought that sensibility with you to your activism...Let's move off labels, identities, and the preconceptions that can come attached to those. Let's find as many different feminisms as we can through the kinds of way it's practiced."

We hope you'll join in.