How to Celebrate Veteran's Day When You Are Invisible

A popular meme going around on Facebook in honor of Veteran's Day is asking people to change their profile pictures to one of a veteran. It showed up in my inbox of messages a few days ago. "It doesn't have to be a picture of your husband! Anyone who has served, living or dead would be wonderful!" it proclaimed to me. How amazing, I thought, and not at all condescending, especially not if you happened to be both a woman and a veteran, since being women and servicemembers are not mutually exclusive.

I haven't changed my Facebook picture in about a year.

I also spent the next morning at the Veteran's Day ceremony — which the President was supposed to attend (security switched at the last minute) — not having my hand shaken by VFW members and not being talked to by anyone going around talking to and thanking veterans. I am fairly certain that it had something to do with having accompanied the Brownies who were handing out programs, and having a friend's baby strapped to my chest because he was on duty. Women with children could not possibly be veterans. Add to that the fact that the General's speech brought tears to my eyes as I sat next to a Korean Non-Commissioned Officer, thinking about the career I lost from disability. Servicemembers don't cry I suppose. I felt invisible.

This isn't unusual. It seems that women veterans are invisible, despite the promises that keep being made to us. There are constantly promises to improve the care available to us at VA centers. I have even read a nifty story on NPR, painting a fantasy picture about the VA and how aggressively they have pursued women's health needs. I am sure that every VA center has the ability to do full pelvic exams and screenings and provide private bathrooms. I am sure that they have made available therapy groups that don't include wife beaters and sexual assaulters.

The VA is famous for not meeting the needs of their veterans over all, but for homeless women veterans, they fall flat on their faces. The centers that meet the needs of women veterans with children are few and far between. In fact, if you follow the links you find that the VA doesn't even run these centers. They are civilian centers that receive grants from the VA to provide these needs. Women veterans with children, who are having trouble finding the funds to make the trip or who have disabilities might not be able to access these centers. They, and their children, are by and far, the most invisible of all.

We need to tell the VA that all veterans are in need of their services, especially the invisible, vulnerable ones. They need more centers for homeless women veterans with children. We need to remember that the woman standing there with children at the ceremony might be more than a supportive wife. She might have been part of that freedom and peace that the distinguished guests and speakers have been droning on about.

Photo Credit: B.R. Hill-Mann