If You're Gonna Protest Gay Marriage, You Better Be Protesting Shrimp

by Michael Jones · 2009-08-21 08:31:00 UTC
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God Hates ShrimpFor anti-LGBT folks who use the book of Leviticus as a justification for their opposition to same-sex marriage, you better be prepared to tackle all of the rules and regulations set forth in the third book of the Old Testament.  That's the word from a new Web site parodying folks like the Westboro Baptist Church and the National Organization for Marriage, who like to trot out select Bible verses to champion their anti-LGBT cause, but do so selectively without biting off the whole thing.

The site, God Hates Shrimp - godhatesshrimp.com - points out that if Old Testament rules are going to apply to same-sex marriage, then they better apply to things like shellfish and clothing, too.

Shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, mussels, all these are an abomination before the Lord, just as gays are an abomination. Why stop at protesting gay marriage? Bring all of God's law unto the heathens and the sodomites. We call upon all Christians to join the crusade against Long John Silver's and Red Lobster. Yea, even Popeye's shall be cleansed. The name of Bubba shall be anathema. We must stop the unbelievers from destroying the sanctity of our restaurants.

If it sounds silly, it's because it is.  But it certainly doesn't stop the right-wing from using Old Testament Biblical verses as a means of bashing gays.

Site founders Joe Decker and Ryland Sanders write that "[t]he point we're trying to make is that by using the Old Testament (specifically the book of Leviticus) as a basis for protesting gay marriage, you run into a couple of problems."

The first of those problems is that in the New Testament, Jesus established a 'New Covenant' that invalidated many of the old Mosaic laws spelled out in Leviticus.  Secondly, according to Decker and Sanders, if anti-LGBT folks still want to quote from Leviticus, they better be prepared to boycott shellfish, mussels, and fabrics made of blended fibers.

And frankly, we can't imagine people like Fred Phelps doing much of that.

Check out the site.  Witty, funny, a bit controversial, but definitely strong on message.  After all, as the site says, 'When Jesus died for your sins, he wore a crown of thorns, not a lobster bib.'

Michael Jones is a Change.org Editor. He has worked in the field of human rights communications for a decade, most recently for Harvard Law School.
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