"It's Hard Being a Single Mother"

I recently heard from a young woman I met when she was living on the streets of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. She had a baby two years ago with a man she thought was her soulmate. He, like "Eva," preferred sleeping on benches to foster care. They both graduated high school while living on the streets and moved into "affordable housing" -- in this case, a nice way of saying "slums."

Life was good for awhile but, sadly and predictably, things fell apart, leaving Eva alone with her now two-year-old son. "It's hard being a single mother," she lamented, which got me thinking of the scads of single mothers I know.

Most find it horribly difficult. Child support enforcement, the cost of living expenses, health issues (autism, mental and physical illnesses), and barriers to transportation have worsened over the past decade for people living in poverty. Living wage jobs, quality post-high school education, decent child care and other safety net components are being cut in budget battles.

Most importantly, single mothers often have few housing options. Many states are now counting on motels to be the 21st century's subsidized housing and homeless family shelters. That model is not working, and federal and state governments need to drastically revamp approaches to permanent and emergency housing for homeless families, teens and single adults. (I'm impressed by my fellow blogger Dominic Mapstone's argument for smaller, home-like shelters.) Motels are unsafe and unproductive for teaching needy families how to manage on their own. Some new parents need lots of support and guidance to learn parenting -- lessons they didn't receive in their nomadic, dysfunctional childhood. This tragic story of a reckless homeless mother and her infant who died in a motel in Springfield, Massachusetts shows the very worst that can happen.

Many single moms rely on Section 8, which gets its share of criticism and way less than its share of funding. In Dubuque, Iowa, a single mother explains how vital Section 8 is to her furthering her education and providing a brighter future for her family. An evicted single mother in Charleston, South Carolina and her two spelling bee-winning daughters, former Section 8 recipients, illustrate both the impressive accomplishments of girls who pursue academic excellence and the insanity of the a government housing program that kicks families out of apartments, only to see them enter a motel.

Seems to me that if we don't like poverty (and who does?), we should work on ending it, not perpetuating it. Addressing the needs of families living on the edge of poverty and homelessness would stem the surging tide, and save both money and lives in the long run. It's time to put families' well-being first.

Photo credit: Diane Nilan