Letter to a YMCA Director

[This post is a draft of a letter I am writing to the director of our town's YMCA.]

My name is Kristina Chew and my son, Charlie Fisher, is almost 12 years old and on the autism spectrum. Charlie is an athletic boy who loves to be active and in motion. Charlie loves to ride his bike on 10 mile rides through local towns with his dad, Jim Fisher, and to swim in the ocean at the Jersey Shore. Charlie's language is minimal and he has numerous cognitive and other challenges and requires one-on-one care; he must always be accompanied by an adult.

We frequently take Charlie to the different YMCA facilities to use the swimming pools and the equipment in the fitness rooms. As one YMCA facility has family changing rooms, it is not a problem for me to take Charlie to shower and change his clothes; however, as the swim team and other groups often use the pools at this YMCA facility, swim time is often limited for Charlie. The pool at another YMCA facility is often more available for Charlie to swim in, but the locker rooms at this facility are either for men or for women, and there are no family changing rooms. When I have taken Charlie to this latter YMCA, the front desk has made it clear that he is not allowed in the women's locker room to change out of his swimsuit after swimming, and Charlie and I have been directed to use a restroom for individuals with disabilities that is three flights of stairs up.

I understand the YMCA's regulations concerning children above a certain age not being allowed into the locker room for the opposite sex. When we swim at the YMCA facility with the family locker rooms, it is not a problem for Charlie to change out of his wet swimsuit. When we swim at the other facility, I have sometimes simply taken Charlie home in his wet clothes.

Recently in March, Charlie and I went to the YMCA without the family locker rooms. My son was having a difficult day and he and I were glad to be at the pool, as swimming often has a calming effect on him. Due to circumstances, Charlie got very upset in my car and was still somewhat upset when he and I entered the YMCA facility, and I sensed that it would be difficult for him to go up the three flights of stairs to the restroom to change into his swimsuit. I therefore asked the staff at the front desk if it might be possible for Charlie to very briefly enter the women's locker room to change into his suit, after which he and I would exit. We were informed that this was simply not possible. Due to my concerns about my son's being upset, I asked a number of times if we might. After some exchanges, the front desk had a female staff member accompany Charlie and me into the women's locker room. He quickly changed into his swimsuit and he and I then exited and, rather than walking through the rest of the locker room, used a different door to enter the pool, where one person was swimming.

We understand and respect the YMCA's regulations. We request, though, that the YMCA take into account the need for accommodations for individuals on the autism spectrum and with disabilities. Indeed, the YMCA facility where my son is required to change in a third-floor restroom is actually housed in a building that includes a school and center for autistic children. The YMCA is of course a separate organization from the autism school, but the proximity of the autism school provides an excellent opportunity for the YMCA staff to learn about accommodations for autistic children.

Nonetheless, it would seem that this situation would provide the YMCA with an excellent opportunity for enabling the YMCA to fulfill its mission of "helping all people grow in spirit, mind and body" and for setting its "core principles of caring, honesty, respect and responsibility" into action. The YMCA's vision is "serving many needs, creating one community"; at this time, I would say that our YMCA is not achieving this vision as it is not serving the needs of all members of its community.

We are indeed grateful for the special programs that the YMCA has created for children on the autism spectrum. However, some of these programs are aimed primarily at younger children. As my own son has gotten older, we are most interested in using the facilities of the YMCA to teach him a daily fitness routine and to integrate use of the pool, exercise room, etc. into my son's daily life. As the parent of an older child on the autism spectrum, I request that the YMCA consider more and novel ways to include children on the autism spectrum in its regular activities, rather than placing them in "special" programs. Again, many of these "special" programs are of great value, but they do not always bring children on the spectrum into the YMCA community in ways that benefit children with disabilities and the community as a whole.

We ask, therefore, that the YMCA consider more and new ways to make accommodations for individuals on the autism spectrum, and therefore to find ways to integrate individuals as fully as possible into the life of its community. Only by doing this will the YMCA truly fulfill its mission and attain its core principles and, indeed, be an institution that is "serving many needs, creating one community."