Marie Claire's "Fatties" Column Isn't the Real Problem

By now I assume you've seen the column by MarieClaire.com columnist Maura Kelly entitled, "Should 'Fatties' Get A Room? (Even on TV?)" If you did miss it, Kelly ruminates on whether the title characters of television show "Mike & Molly" should be allowed to kiss, because some people expressed discomfort at watching two overweight people go at it.

Kelly's verdict was yes, they should keep their fat love private and, while they're at it, get off their fat asses and slim down. With phrases like, "No one who is as fat as Mike and Molly can be healthy," and "I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other ... because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything," it's a misguided attempt to shame "unhealthy" fat people into slimming down at best, and fatphobia at worst.

But a lot of venom being spewed at Kelly and Marie Claire is misdirected. No, Kelly shouldn't be fired. (And not for the really lame reasons that Babble gave, either.) Yes, Marie Claire should issue an apology. But it shouldn't stop there.

Kelly believed that it's okay to attack fat people because our culture promotes that way of thinking. Even on the show itself, which critics say is too filled with fat jokes, Mike and Molly meet at Overeaters Anonymous (of course) and are trying to change. The show tells viewers that being fat is not good and that fat people only belong on television when we can all laugh at their attempts to de-fat. (Though fat men are routinely seen on television with skinny, "attractive" wives or girlfriends.)

Most of the criticism leveled at Kelly and Marie Claire is about the fact that she actually said all this, not that she believes it and that it's wrong. For the millionth time, you cannot ascertain the health of a person from looking at them. And even if we could, we see examples of skinny people leading unhealthy lifestyles onscreen all the time: loading up on junk food, smoking, having unprotected sex, doing drugs -- the list goes on and on. So Kelly's attempts to wrap her anti-fat message in health are just a flat-out lie. As a former anorexic (she admitted this in her half-baked apology), she is terrified of becoming fat and that is why fat people disgust her.

But most of us are disgusted by fat. It has become polite table conversation to pick apart the lifestyles of people we don't know ("I can't believe she has the nerve to order ice cream"). It is acceptable for an entire conversation about a talented woman, whether singer, actress, or writer, to revolve around their incredibly shrinking or incredibly expanding waistlines.

So, no, I wasn't offended by what Kelly wrote, because I see evidence that most people feel similarly every day. I am, however, offended that the policing of women's bodies has reached this level, where we are all expected to pursue one body size at any cost (starvation, purging included). We have all -- regular people, members of the media, doctors -- contributed to this idea that thinness is a prize only given to those who work hard and that fatness is bestowed on people who do the opposite. We deserve the right to live our lives in a way that pleases us and is not harmful to others, without fear that our very existence is deemed disgusting.

Sign this petition to demand that Marie Claire magazine editor Joanna Coles issue an apology for the post.

Photo credit: clementpetit2