Marriage as an Exclusive Country Club

by Michael Jones · 2010-02-09 13:49:00 UTC
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Wedding ToastIf you're straight and you support marriage equality for gay and lesbian couples, Sarah Silverman has a few words for you. Namely, avoid marriage like the plague.

Silverman dropped by The View this week to promote a new television show that she's got in the pike at LOGO. But when it came time to dishing on marriage, Silverman was less interested in promoting a TV show and more interested in getting straight folks to seriously question the institution of marriage -- at least while 45 states continue to ban it for gay and lesbian couples.

"I can not imagine wanting to get married right now at this time in America," Silverman said. "If you’re for equal rights, why would you get married right now? It’s like joining a country club that doesn’t allow blacks or Jews. There’s no difference. Why would I wanna join that club? It’s gross."

Is she right? Should straight allies be tempted to look at marriage like an exclusive country club -- something they might have access to because of immutable characteristics beyond their control, but something that is unnecessarily discriminatory toward at least 10 percent of the population?

Silverman's quip is kind of reminiscent of the argument behind the National Marriage Boycott, a student-driven network of folks who are working to overturn the Defense of Marriage Act. Until they do, however, they're boycotting the institution of marriage. They call it a powerful way to support queer friends who don't have access to marriage.

"Now is the moment in American history when same-sex couples have the opportunity to achieve equal rights under the law. However, in order for a minority group to achieve equal rights, progressive members of the majority must stand in solidarity with them," the National Marriage Boycott says. "To demonstrate our desire for an immediate repeal of DOMA, we choose not to participate in marriage until everyone can marry."

Yup, definitely sounds like they have something in common with Silverman. And though it might be a tough sell for straight allies, it's certainly one way to extend a hand of solidarity for equal rights.

Photo credit: vmiramontes

Michael Jones is a Change.org Editor. He has worked in the field of human rights communications for a decade, most recently for Harvard Law School.
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