Marriage Equality: Is It Really the Most Pressing LGBT Issue in America?

I have to admit, when Judge Vaughn Walker released his ruling that Prop 8 was unconstitutional, I shrugged. When he issued his ruling on a motion for a stay of his decision, I was actually quite moved, though I still have not figured out why. But ultimately, I will admit, marriage equality is not and has never been on the top of my list of issues for the LGBT community.

First, let's look at the states that have approved marriage equality. Iowa prohibits discrimination in employment based on both sexual orientation and gender identity and/or expression. The same is true for California, and Vermont. You can chalk Washington, D.C. into the same category. Meanwhile, Connecticut, Massachusetts and New Hampshire prohibit discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation.

All those states and D.C. allow same-sex couples to get married (except for California, pending the appeal outcome for Judge Walker's Prop 8 decision). Those states also have anti-bias laws in place to address violence against the LGBT community.

Meanwhile, here in Michigan, we still have a sodomy law as well as a gross indecency between two men law on the books. We do not have a bias crimes law which includes sexual orientation. We have banned marriage equality through our state Constitution, and unless you live in one of a handful of Michigan municipalities, discrimination against you on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity is completely legal.

So, while I understand the emotions involved in marriage equality, I do wonder why we are spending so much in our resources on that one issue. What good is it for me to go and get a marriage license in California, or Connecticut or Iowa, when coming back to Michigan, that license is (a) not valid, and (b) likely to lead to my being fired and kicked out of a rental location?

To sum it up another way, what good is the marriage license if all I have is a cardboard box to hang it in because when my partner and I returned to Michigan after our nuptial ceremony, both of us lost our jobs, were evicted based on the moral aversion to homosexuality our landlord had, and my partner is in the hospital because he was brutally stabbed coming out of a gay bar where he met with friends in hopes of finding a gay friendly job and home?

Marriage equality is important, and I don't want anyone to think I am saying anything different than that. But legal marriage is a pleasantry and a privilege for generally middle class people. Because the feds still do not recognize same-sex marriage, there is not really an economic reward for marriage. But keeping one's job and home are essential to living one's life.

So I say, keep at marriage equality, but remember, many of us can still face violence, eviction and joblessness for taking the plunge down the aisle with our love.

Photo credit: Fibonacci Blue