Marriage, Family, and Your Global Health Career
A lot of people ask me about how to balance marriage and children with a global health career. It's a little personal, but they are right to ask, because it's hard. And I'm no expert. My career is ten years old, my marriage is seven, and my son is three. It's too early to know how it will all turn out. But I'm happily employed, and so is my husband. My little boy seems to be cheerful and normal. Here's what I've learned so far:
1. If you're female, it's hard to find a partner outside the US. So much of the world, especially where global health work is found, is deeply patriarchal. Men interested in an equal marriage are few and far between. So, if you're female and you can, stay in the US until you're married. If you're male, it's probably easier to find a partner, since being committed to gender equality makes you desirable and special in many places.
2. Marry the right person. If you want an international career, and your partner wants to live in one place, you're in trouble. Talk about your future before you get married, and make sure your visions are similar. Ideally, marry someone with similar regional interests and language skills, but that's a lot to hope for. One tricky fact: if you marry someone from outside the US, just adjusting to American culture will be a huge step. It's unlikely they will then want to spend their life adjusting to even more countries.
3. Accept some compromises. Balancing two careers means that neither you will progress as far as you would with a stay at home spouse. That doesn't bother me, or my husband, because we love the work we do. Plenty of people would be bothered.
4. It's actually easier to raise a child outside the US. Child care is cheaper, Happy Meals are harder to get, and your child is exposed to a lot less commercial advertising. As an added bonus, your kid may learn a second language.
5. Bonus point, since I work in reproductive health. Don't put off having kids too long. It gets harder to conceive as you get older, faster than you'd expect. If being a parent is important to you, start having kids the instant you feel financially and emotionally ready. There is no obvious point in your career when having children won't be an interruption - don't wait for that.
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