Misogynistic iPhone App of the Year: iControl Her

Sexist asshole? There's an app for that.

Actually, there are a bunch. Salon's Jessica Roy treats readers to a rundown of her pick's for this year's "Five most sexist iPhone apps."

Things didn't look so bad when Roy started with the PMSTracker, an app that warns men when the special lady in their life is having her time of the month. Belittling justifiably pissed-off women as "PMS-ing" is a widespread and offensive stereotype, but I tried to tell myself that checking the calendar could keep users from crying "PMS" at every sign of female irritation -- and encourage them to cut a gal some slack if Aunt Flo actually does make her a touch cranky. The guy might even remember to bring home some pads or tampons, definitely putting him at the top of my holiday "nice" list. Then I read the product description: "for all guys out there suffering the monthly Psychotic Mood Shifts from their better halves." Does that "better halves" sound sarcastic to you?

(Props, on the other hand, to the more well-meaning MyMate app, which says, "Being aware of what your women are going through and knowing where they are in their cycle is essential in being a more caring and understanding man; in short it will help you become a better mate!")

Then, after booty shaking, pole dancing, and virtual girlfriends (yes, that one is just sad), Roy gets to the real crowning glory, what I've deemed the Misogynistic App of the Year. With a name like iControl Her, how could it lose?

Download iControl Her, and your screen can feature a handy remote "with such clever buttons as 'Stop Whining,' 'Clean' and 'Give Me Beer.'" Who needs an independent woman who acts on her own volition when you can have a robot at your bidding? Bring me a sandwich, woman!

Roy's article was inspired by the non-PMS related anger directed toward an iPhone app brought to us by Pepsi earlier this year. As Bitch Magazine discusses, the "AMP Up Before You Score" app, cleverly playing off of the name of Pepsi's new AMP energy drink, offers pick-up lines to help men, well, score. But these aren't just any vague, one-size fits all pick-up lines -- and Pepsi doesn't fall for that tired old Madonna/Whore dichotomy of pigeon-holing women. If you've ever wondered how many different types of women exist in the world, the answer is in fact 24. To get a "cheatsheet on the stuff she's into" (because she couldn't be a unique individual with or own interests or anything silly like that), just pick whichever of the 24 categories encompasses her, ranging from Military Girl to Treehugger to Women's Studies Major to (really?) Married to (c'mon) Twins.

But that's not all you can do with this app! Did you, "Get Lucky?" AMP wants you to "Add her to your Brag List." And then, Step Three: Brag. "You got it? Flaunt it. Keep your buddies in the loop on email, Facebook or Twitter." Ahem -- "it"?

Dude, iPhone totally helped me manipulate that chick into sex last night #sexistasshole

Photo courtesy of William Hook's Flickr photostream.