Mommy, Why Is That Person Asking for Money?

The New York Times' "Bucks" blog, a site about money for people who generally have enough, raised this question the other day in a series about how to answer children's money inquiries: "Why is that person asking for money?"

That person, of course, is a panhandler, not a Wall Street banker (though hopefully that edition is forthcoming). The post says, "This question is a particularly tough one, since it may come when your child encounters, for the first time, people who have so little money they feel the need to ask others for help." So far so good, as the post acknowledges that panhandling is often a method of last resort.

It continues, "If that wasn't hard enough, if you walk or drive past the person who is making the request, your child may ask why you didn't give any money." I'm not a parent, but I imagine this would be a tough one indeed. Aside from a desire to honestly answer the question while portraying yourself positively, the answer, depending on the child, could influence how that young person views the homeless and disadvantaged for a long time to come. The common rhetoric about how anyone can become homeless isn't appropriate for kids who might be frightened or resent that their parents won't always be there to help.

The Times then asked its commenters how they have handled or would handle the situation. Predictably, this is when things get ugly.

A commenter from Florida kicked things off by saying, "I tell my kids that they are people who are not working because either they quit school did not finish their education or they are lazy bums who do not want to work. I tell them that is why they have to study hard and go to college so they won't end up on the streets."

Thankfully, a fellow commenter from New Jersey ably countered that hate: "Ouch. I sure hope your kids don't end up homeless (or even just plain poor) due to illness (mental or otherwise), natural disaster, or any of the other rotten-luck hardships that just happen to people. Boiling the situation down to 'he's a lazy bum who doesn't want to work' is, I suppose, a nice simplification for the kiddos (and perhaps an effective way of making them study harder), but it's a really cruel way of looking at the world."

Among the sane, the consensus seemed to be: use the sighting as an opportunity to 1.) explain that some people don't have enough money, 2.) encourage children to be thankful for what they have, and 3.) explain that a better way to help is to donate time or money to soup kitchens and other organizations. (This last part follows the common, potentially-true, potentially-false assumption that most panhandlers will use the money for beer or drugs.)

So, what would you tell the kiddos?

Photo credit: Michael_Lehet