Mothers’ Day Reflection: Theory vs. Reality

Julianna, a vivacious woman in AZ who works at a public school, finally took her 4 kids and left her abusive spouse (who she later discovered wasn’t legally her spouse, another story for another day)—when she found out about the McKinney-Vento Homeless Education Act, the federal law that protects stability of education for students who lose housing due to hardship. Her kids could remain in their same schools even when staying with friends in another part of town.

We’d like to think that all homeless families have nice shelters and all will be OK. Not so. Julianna’s family was unable to use local shelters because she has a teen boy—and many shelters, unbeknownst to most, don’t let families with older boys stay together. Splitting up their already traumatized family was not an option. Floors in a rotating series of friends’ houses became the erratic drill.

That’s what happens when families don’t fit into existing homeless programs—if their communities even have shelters. They piece together a patchwork quilt of unwieldy strategies designed to keep some sort of roof over their heads. This CNN story points out another little-known reality—shelter time limits cause families to move before they’re ready to be independent. 

Congress, trying to fix the law governing the definition of homeless, proposes requiring “credible” evidence of impending (14 days) homelessness. Now, really, how predictable do they think things are for homeless families/single adults?! It’s not as if they say, “Gee, let’s use our last 14 days of money at this motel, amass credible evidence, then we can qualify as ‘homeless.’”

A recent Charlotte Observer article describes the path to homelessness for families and single adults, old and young. They don’t get up in the morning and decide to be homeless. They want to live independently, but obstacles and poverty block the way…is Team Obama listening? It’s time to create a comprehensive new approach to this decades-old, and growing, crisis. Maybe Michelle O, as a mother, can spur on the process.

I worry about my friend Julianna and her family. This amazing mother, despite poverty-level wages, struggles to keep their modest apartment. Her non-ex-ex is about $24k behind on child support. Her kids need counseling but insurance doesn’t cover much of it, so it’s out-of-pocket. Fighting and winning an inane custody battle, she’s incurred court costs that shredded her fragile budget. Instead of a car, they rely on friends and public transportation so her kids can have cell phones—for safety, parent-teen communication, and because they’re teens.

She’s miserly; not a drinker, smoker or drug user (for those who discount people with bad habits). The financial stress of her family is similar to many others, with a notable exception: Once you’ve experienced homelessness, especially parents, you do not want to go back. Julianna is looking over her shoulder, scampering like a squirrel to keep one step ahead.

Meanwhile, Congress ponders the definition of “homeless.” The outcome will affect a growing number—way over 3.5 million—of homeless families, teens and single adults. new HEAR US advo-video

Seems to me policymakers should consult with mothers like Julianna who could enlighten the process. And since I didn’t get the job as the new homelessness “czarina,” we can only hope that the new head of the heretofore self-serving Interagency Council on Homelessness will stop sweeping homeless families under the White House rug. Michelle, will you please check on that?