New Afghan Strategy: Karzai and Holbrooke Praise Taliban

According to an esteemed news outlet — the seatback screens on Qatar Airways — the U.S. Special Representative for Afghanistan and Pakistan, Richard Holbrooke, praises the Taliban.

It was on a recent flight from D.C. to Doha that I discovered this little known secret as I suffered boredom in my seat. (In reality, Holbrooke was actually praising a "Taliban capture" in Pakistan, but the AFP headline apparently got creatively clipped by the in-flight entertainment service).

However, if Holbrooke were praising the Taliban, he would be in good company with Afghan President Hamid Karzai. As of late, Karzai seems to have gone off the deep end and found himself in "Let's piss off the international community land" — just days after his face-to-face sit down with President Barack Obama.

Recent gems include, "If I come under foreign pressure, I might join the Taliban," along with statements that foreigners were behind the election fraud last year.

While it's understandable that Karzai might at times want to appeal to those in his anti-American base — and there is certainly plenty to critique about America's presence in Afghanistan — there might be some better ways to do that. (Pro tip: Don't get all Taliban-crazy just after you speak with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton for an hour. And at least wait until after your latest Washington invitation for another visit with Obama.)

Some newly disturbing comments on Karzai have also come from Peter Galbraith, the former deputy U.N. representative to Afghanistan, who was forced out during a difference of opinion over election fraud with his former Norwegian boss, Kai Eide. Galbraith said on MSNBC: "In fact some of the palace insiders say that he has a certain fondness for some of Afghanistan's most profitable exports." Witty.

Galbraith is also reported to have tried to unseat Karzai through some attempted behind the scenes negotiations with both the U.S. Embassy in Kabul and Vice President Joe Biden's office. Both discussions were apparently declined. And amusingly, Galbraith is one of the foreigners that Karzai directly names as having corrupted last year's election.

While Galbraith seems to have been right about election fraud and now about Karzai's credibility, who is this Galbraith guy — and as a brief aside, what did he do before his gig with the U.N. in Kabul? Well, in the summer of 2005, as a private citizen, Galbraith provided policy advice to the Kurds as they negotiated their oil rights with the central Iraqi government. And according to the the NY Times, Galbraith, a former U.S. ambassador, also coincidentally made more than $100 million — somewhat secretly — from a Norwegian oil company that had a vested interest in oil drilling in Kurdish territory. (I am currently working on my oil drilling policy credentials so I can be a dutiful private citizen as well.)

So what could Obama, Holbrooke and Clinton do to sort out this diplomatic quagmire with Karzai? Drones anyone? Kidding, kidding. The U.S. only commits targeted executions against persons alleged to be terrorists, not those who make a weekend habit of publicly sympathizing.

Next suggestion. Maybe in a nod to Sarah Palin's recent media success, Holbrooke could host a feel-good Real Afghan Stories television series on local Afghan TV. Better yet, LL Cool J could host.

Slightly more seriously, how about the U.S. pull a version of China's Copenhagen stunt? Meaning, just as Karzai thinks he is going to meet Obama at the White House, the U.S. could send in a State Department college intern to negotiate — with a bong.