On Comments and the Purpose of This Blog

Yesterday, some of you got to witness me lose my cool. Yesterday, the stars aligned such that dealing with commenters representing varying perspectives on various threads, who would have disagreed with one another vehemently on most issues, but who had in common adamant disagreement with me on one topic or another, wore me down; a combination of patronizing, insulting, and/or repetitive comments led me to the point where I lost my ability to respond calmly and wanted to close every comment thread in sight, with a less-than-polite closing remark. But though that experience is what's finally leading me to write this post, this post is not a response to those commenters alone or to what happened yesterday. It is a response to what has happened in comment threads--and my inbox--repeatedly over several months. So if you're someone with whom I've had strained interactions, do not assume that anything here is leveled directly at you.

Here are the facts:

• This is an animal rights blog, not an animal welfare blog and not a give-people-cookies blog. Please don't act surprised or (worse) chastise me when the posts represent an animal rights viewpoint. The purpose of this blog is, among other things, to advocate for animals, to be a voice for them, to educate and challenge people, and to encourage changes in the way people live in relation to, and think of, animals. Speaking for the animals is the priority here. The purpose of this blog is not to appease people or tell them that whatever they're doing, no matter what they're doing, is OK when it's not--when it's not OK for the animals. The idea that I should censor or be less than honest about what happens to animals or about how people are responsible for that because it might make someone feel bad is absurd. It's an animal rights blog.

  I try to be careful about not demonizing people unnecessarily--and about trying to keep commenters from doing that either. I do not subscribe to the "scream at them," "tell them how evil they are," and "hope they get shot or choke on a chicken bone" philosophy. I find that way of communicating deeply offensive and equally counterproductive. And the fact that some people interpret my approach to be an "attacking" one tells me they've never seen and heard what that approach is actually like. I do absolutely understand that most people don't contribute to animals' suffering consciously but rather just need to be informed about what they don't yet realize, but that doesn't mean I won't be honest. Being honest and blunt with people and demonizing and "attacking" people are not the same thing. If a simple statement of truth, a simple presentation of a fact--without name-calling, without demonization--makes someone feel "attacked," the problem is on the reader's end, not mine. If you find yourself feeling guilty and upset because of something you've read, because of realizing that you're a party to exploitation, suffering, and death in ways you hadn't realized, that's not proof that you've been "attacked." It's proof that you have a heart and a code of ethics--and that one or more of your current ways of living aren't in line with your ethics, and that's making you feel guilty or defensively angry.

• If you are an animal rights advocate or vegan who demonizes and attacks unnecessarily and/or someone who celebrates violence against the humans with whom you disagree, your comments will not be tolerated in this little corner of the blogosphere any more than the comments of anti-AR readers who use the threads to be abusive. One of the reasons I find myself so stressed sometimes is that offensive, out-of-line comments do not come from just one direction. Now and then, a minority of a minority of AR advocates can be just as offensive (and abusively critical of both me and fellow commenters) as anti-AR trolls. Dealing with abusive anti-AR commenters is stressful enough all on its own, and inappropriate comments from AR advocates, including those directed at the commenters with whom I myself disagree, do not get a free pass just because we may share some philosophies.

• I moderate the comment threads and do my best to read every comment that comes through (99% of the time, I do see them all, but when things get particularly nuts, I may miss one or two). I am the one whose days and life are overtaken by the comment threads when they get out of control. It is my prerogative to delete comments that are off-topic or abusive, and it is my prerogative to close threads when the conversation has become repetitive or abusive or off-topic.

  When I do close a thread, that is not an invitation for readers who are irritated that I closed it to take the same conversation to another thread and then insist on continuing it there, off-topic, even after I ask for it to stop. It is also not an invitation to send me offensive argumentative private messages. If I closed the thread, I did it for a reason. If you have a legitimate, non-sarcastic, non-attacking question or concern about something, I don't mind your asking it elsewhere. I do want you to feel like this is a place where you can get advice and answers. But taking over another comment thread for the sole purpose of continuing a long, tired argument to which I've already put an end or to personally insult me (or contacting me directly just to get the personal insults out of your system) crosses the line. Show a modicum of respect for the commenting rules and for the fact that, like it or not, I am the one who moderates this space. You are more than welcome in this space even if you disagree with me, but if you can't disagree with me without being abusive, your welcome will wear out fast.

  And indeed, if your default commenting strategy is to insult me personally and patronize me with remarks about my gender, age, or any other characteristic, don't expect your comments (or even your invitation to comment, if you keep it up) to stick around for long.

• On a related note, before criticizing my lack of "patience" or my decisions to close comment threads rather than engage them endlessly, after I've been dealing with a thread (and often, trying comments within it) for several days or for dozens of comments, please consider that there's nothing here that says you are owed as much of my time and the space I manage as you demand. If you don't like the rules involved in commenting on the blog someone else writes, you may start your own elsewhere. It is not my job to indulge or provide soapboxes for everyone who has something he or she angrily wants to say to me or to other commenters, for as long as that person wants.

• In frustration yesterday, in response to a line of discussion that I was tired of having to repeat, I made a remark about not having the time or energy--and not getting paid enough--to have this same conversation over and over again. One of the responses to this was that commenters don't get paid at all, and it was implied that I do this for money rather than for animals. And if you really want to see me get angry, this is an excellent way to make that happen. Because it's become clear over the months that some people don't know how this works or what my role here is, I'd like to explain: The bloggers at Change.org are not full-time employees. We get paid a flat, modest stipend. Whether I spend 2-3 hours a day writing, researching, reading, networking, and responding to and managing comments and messages--which is all I can really afford to spend, but nearly never what I do spend--or spend 5-8 hours a day on all this, which is much more common, my pay stays the same. So when managing this space becomes out-of-control time-consuming or stressful, as it often does, that has very real repercussions for me--in the form of my not being able to do my other freelance work and pay my monthly bills. I'm not living the high life as a result of writing this blog, and I do have to maintain work outside of it. So if a thread becomes such a hassle that I literally can't afford to manage it and keep up with the comments anymore, I get to close it, whether all commenters like that decision or agree with it or not; no one is owed the opportunity for endless comments here.

• There will be days when I lose my cool, and I apologize for that. Yesterday, in various places on this blog and elsewhere, I was dealing with difficult comments from everyone from anti-AR meat-eaters to intense, judgmental self-defined vegans. My inbox was full of repetitious and often insulting comments from one end of the spectrum to the other. And so I lost it. And this is precisely why I have exercised and will exercise the right to close threads and delete comments, despite some users' snide remarks about why I do it.

To the majority of commenters here who are consistently respectful, of the commenting rules, of me, and of your fellow commenters, I apologize for losing my patience and decorum when I have, and please know that nothing in this post is directed at you. I appreciate your participation immensely, even when you don't agree with me. Many of you, in addition to simply respectfully following commenting rules in the threads, have also sent me wonderfully kind notes of encouragement now and then, and that keeps me going; it does more for my heart and my spirit and my ability to continue here than you can possibly know, as does your participation (and invaluable help) in the threads. Thank you. I don't have time to respond to all the comments or all my messages--I wish I did--and I lose track of many of them within a day after they've come in, so if you've sent something to which I haven't responded, please don't think it's because I haven't read it or haven't appreciated it enormously. I have, on both counts. (And on a related note, if you've sent something that needs an answer, and I haven't responded after a week or so, please feel free to resend or gently remind me; the message has likely been buried under a hundred other messages.)

And to the commenters with whom I've disagreed, this is not a "go away" post. There are some of you with whom I likely will never agree on anything, and there are others of you with whom I will agree most of the time actually, but with whom the arguments, when we do have them, get intense. Wherever you fall on the spectrum, you and your opinions--even the dissenting ones--are still welcome here, absolutely. But I also hope that this post can help these conversations move forward in a more productive way in which there is better understanding of what is and is not OK in the comment threads and of why I handle some issues the way that I do.