On Miscommunication

There's been a stream of posts on communication (and an action for accessible communications---please sign if you have not yet!). Communication is one of my favorite topics, whether considering an augmentative device for Charlie or just trying to understand what he's telling us, with words and without.

Charlie communicates plenty, but one thing that's he's not yet able to do is to explain what happened to him. Most of the time, he's either with us or at school, and getting a detailed-enough, honest report about his day has been a long-term effort. We've tried forms with boxes to check off, communication books, and the current system---email. Charlie's teacher (he has the same teacher for Extended School Year as he did during the regular school year) writes to me every day; on the days that she is not in the classroom, she usually gives us a report about what went on the day before. There's usually a comment about "behavior"---something or other usually happens (though I'm happy to report that nothing major did the first week of ESY).

I'd like these emails to be more about what Charlie does or learns, but the reality is that the "behavior business" needs to be documented and anything major written up in an incident report, which we are supposed to receive a copy of. The many things that Charlie is learning and accomplishing often get snowed under. But then I remember some of the notes I used to receive from Charlie's teachers, which were generally positive but really didn't give me any idea of what was going on in the classroom:

Charlie had a great day!!!!!!

He's such a good boy.

Charlie did well.

Have a nice weekend.

Teachers are pressed for time and I doubt any parent expects a literary production! Especially when a child is young and still learning to talk and communicate or if a child is (like Charlie) not very verbal, teacher's notes often feel like my lifeline to Charlie's day.

There are only four students in Charlie's class and as many aides, so his teacher has the time to focus on each child sufficiently. And of course, having a good, open, trusting relationship with one's child's teacher is essential, but that is a topic for a whole other post (and one I'm going to refrain from saying more about at the moment, as we have a district-requested IEP meeting this Tuesday morning.)

It's not only Charlie who has trouble getting his message across---helping him to do so has made me more than aware of my own miscommunications.