On Not Swimming Alone

by Kristina Chew · 2009-03-03 01:40:00 UTC
Topics:

Pool ladder
On Saturday there's a program at our YMCA for kids on the spectrum, created by a parent. It's two hours of swimming and gymnastics, with high school volunteers paired with each child. The program's gotten quite popular and---we're usually late, ahem---it's rare that Charlie gets to swim with anyone. This Saturday, there were too many volunteers when we got to the pool and Charlie was paired with a teenage guy---Jim and I thought, great!. There's been times when he's paired with students who he's the same height or taller than; usually it's the preschoolers and younger kids who are first paired with volunteers.

Charlie sped across the pool, the volunteer beside him, kicking and face in and on his back. While a strong swimmer, a little encouragement and companionship go a long way.

So I didn't know what to say when, after a girl a few years younger than Charlie entered, arms moving in the air a bit, we were asked: "Does Charlie really need a volunteer?"

Clearly the other girl did. Clearly Charlie was dropping down to the bottom of the pool and (with a little coaxing from me) attending to the volunteer and swimming to the deep end.

I noted how rarely Charlie gets to swim with someone---a guy, especially---how, yes, he still needed a volunteer. The woman who asked me nodded but looked perplexed as she walked over to speak to someone else.

Should I have said, no, Charlie didn't need the volunteer? (Truly, he did.) How would I have felt if I had been the girl's mother, seeing a muscular, tall boy back-floating in the deep end and "hogging" a volunteer that her daughter (who didn't seem to know how to swim) stood on the sidelines? How to explain how Charlie was benefiting in so many unobvious ways, from the chance to interact and listen to someone he'd just met? Things change when (sigh) you're not a cute little kid who can be carried. Needs change and a helping hand is still needed----just in a different way.

(And anyways, it's well that Charlie learns to swim with a friend----someday he might like to try this.)

Kristina Chew
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