Order 12 Baby Chicks for Easter, Get 2 Dead Babies Free!

Alternate title: "No Eggs for Easter Please"

The primary title isn't a joke. The exclamation-mark excitement is sarcastic, of course. But the offer, though not worded in such terms, is quite real (and truly, it's more of a 1:1 deal if you consider what happens before your order ships out in addition to what you actually see in the box). For a couple months now, I've been sitting on a list of links and a plan to at some point write about the hatcheries whose Web sites provide all the details you could want about ordering live chicks, whether for your large-scale egg farm or for your backyard. And with Easter egg excitement and baby chick mania upon us, this seems like the time to have this discussion.

We've talked about egg production cruelties on this blog, including the fact that egg-laying hens, whether they are exploited on factory farms or "free-range" farms, come from hatcheries, where 50 percent of the chicks who hatch are killed when one or two days old, in ways that are anything but humane--they are suffocated, crushed, ground up alive, or otherwise left to die slowly and in agony. They are killed because they are male. Male chicks won't grow up to lay eggs. And males of the egg-laying type don't grow fast and fat enough for the chicken flesh industry's liking. So 250 million male chicks per year (repeat that with me--250 million) in the United States are treated like trash as soon as their sex has been determined.

But the killing and treatment of chicks like throwaway commodities doesn't stop at the hatchery (where, for the record, male and female newborn chicks alike are handled roughly and inhumanely). The female chicks still have to get to their destination, dead or alive.

Shipping a bunch of day-old chicks as if they actually matter, as if they're actually sentient, fragile babies, would not be cost-effective. So even so-called humane egg producers and hobbyists receive their chicks the cheap and easy way--by USPS mail. Yes, I'm serious. Live baby animals are being stuffed into boxes and sent through the mail every single day, in all kinds of weather and conditions, treated like any other mailed package for the most part. Legally. For "humane" egg production.

But wouldn't chicks constantly be injured and killed if this were true? Yes, they would. And they are. But customers still get their money's worth because suppliers have a policy of sending their customers more chicks than the customers ordered, to make up for the inevitability of dead and/or injured chicks on arrival.

Just for fun, let's look at some of the language and guarantees from the suppliers themselves. Take note of phrases such as "live delivery of ordered amount" and "normal extra" and "good condition," like the chicks are just inanimate items from a catalog. Note also, of course, that no supplier is going to guarantee a 100% live shipment--only that you'll get at least as many live chicks as you ordered, plus some dead and/or dying ones (it's not uncommon for many of the chicks who survive the trip to still die within days after arrival).

We GUARANTEE 100% live delivery of ordered amount. We will replace free of charge, or will refund the full purchase price of any shipment or part thereof which is missing or not in good condition upon arrival.

We guarantee that you will receive full count of live, healthy poultry according to this guarantee. We place extra chicks in each box to help fulfill this guarantee. However, if losses should occur in shipment and you do receive less live chicks than you ordered, we will make an adjustment either by replacing poultry, or by cash refund at the discretion of the hatchery.

I live on the East Coast, will my chicks handle the shipping from California?
Yes. We include in every out of state shipment a special supplement for the chicks during shipment. This supplement has proven to allow the chicks to handle a 3 day shipment time with virtually no problems! However, if you do experience any loss above the normal extra that is included in every shipment, contact us immediately and we'll replace or refund your loss.

These tiny beings who've just barely come into the world--and who came into the world in harsh, artificial surroundings (with certainly no mother or mother figure to provide comfort or care)--are treated carelessly from the moment they first see the light outside their shells, and at one day old, the males are unceremoniously discarded, and the females are packed into shipping boxes to fill orders, like books or CDs, their lives worth nearly nothing to the businesses that ship them off fully expecting some of them to be killed by the traumatic transport. Their lives are miserable even from the very start.

Just as dairy is predicated on the killing of baby calves, egg production is predicated on the mass killing of baby male chicks and nonchalant endangerment and sometimes killing of female chicks too. So a holiday weekend that for many is a celebration of life maybe should be egg-free rather than egg-focused, eh?

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Image of discarded male chicks courtesy of soylent-network, via all-creatures.org

Priority Mail chick image courtesy of The Animals Voice