Sally Kern Wants to Make Divorce Illegal

Sally Kern, the Oklahoma state legislator who infamously called homosexuality "the biggest threat our nation has, even more so than terrorism or Islam," now wants to force heterosexual couples to remain in unhappy marriages.

I wish this was satire, like the proposed California divorce ban, but no such luck. Under Kern's legislation, incompatibility would not be an adequate reason to obtain a divorce if the partners have been married for over a decade or are raising minor children. Because having miserable parents screaming at one another constantly is a great environment for kids to grow up in.

I'm frustrated by the twisted conservative "family values" that refuse to recognize that, in some situations, the best thing for children is to have their parents divorce. And I don't see why passing the tin anniversary should mean a couple is stuck together for life. But there's a third provision under which incompatibility would not be considered ground for a divorce that concerns me the most: if one partner submits a written statement of objection to the separation.

That sounds like it's designed to restrain unwilling spouses -- given domestic violence rates, I'm worried that husbands will control wives trying to escape a bad situation. Yes, there is an exception for abuse. But it's hard to prove physical abuse. And what about mental or emotional abuse? France may be considering criminalizing psychological violence, but I hardly trust Oklahoma's courts to recognize this as grounds for divorce. Then there's the United States' poor track record on recognizing marital rape as, well, rape. If a couple has been married 10 years, and the husband rapes his wife, will courts grant the exemption?

On the bright side, there is one surefire way to get a divorce: have sex with someone besides your partner. Make sure you get plenty of proof -- you might want a sex tape for this one -- and adultery will be your ticket to freedom.

Photo: Print North East