Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Greedy Homophobic Socialite

Robert Downey Jr. has suggested that Sherlock Holmes might be a "very butch homosexual" and that he and his trusty sidekick might be "closer than just out solving crimes." I'm certainly no Holmesian scholar, but it seems to me that anytime a male protagonist has a male sidekick and they live together while bantering like an old married couple ... well, it's about as shocking as finding out that Bert and Ernie are more than just fishing buddies.

Considering the film has grossed $220 million worldwide, no one seems to care. No one, that is, except for the woman who currently owns the rights to Conan Doyle's work in the United States. Andrea Plunket is down-right offended. "I hope this is just an example of Mr. Downey's black sense of humour. It would be drastic, but I would withdraw permission for more films to be made if they feel that is a theme they wish to bring out in the future." Andrea is quick to add the requisite disclaimer: "I am not hostile to homosexuals, but I am to anyone who is not true to the spirit of the books."

The kind of odd thing about Andrea (other than the fact that she was Claus van Bulow's mistress and that she renounced her wealth to run a B&B in the Catskills) is that she didn't seem to give a hoot about the spirit of Sherlock Holmes when her ex-husband produced an entire series of made-up Holmes' adventures in the 1950s. In her defense, she didn't officially get the rights until 1977. And yet, silence in 1984 when In Bed With Sherlock Holmes was published, overtly acknowledging the homosexual overtones in Doyle's work. Not a word in 2004, when Graham Robb created an explicit affair between the two in his book. Tight-lipped about My Dearest Holmes, published by the Gay Men's Press.

She even doesn't seem to have an issue with a blog devoted entirely to depictions of Holmes and Watson as homosexuals. Why all of a sudden is the suggestion of a possible romantic vibe between the two male leads out of line with Doyle's text?

Andrea Plunket has racked up a hefty legal bill protecting her rights to the Holmes' name. She showed up in NY Federal Court about a year ago, claiming she couldn't pay the $185,000 in court costs she owed for various frivolous claims. For a woman who's hard up for legal fees, why would she risk a Sherlock Holmes franchise unless she is, in fact, worried about the mass distribution of a homo Holmes? What was that about not being hostile to homosexuals?

The bummer is that Warner Bros may be taking the bait. If the studio had concerns about riling up the anti-gay demographic, they never would have OK'd numerous action filled trailers generously sprinkled with homosexual overtones. But those trusty studio insiders are claiming that Warner Bros is now scrambling to damper Downey Jr.'s use of the "H" word, assuring folks this is an action flick and not "Brokeback Mountain 2."

To get a real gauge of how gay this version is, let's consult the experts. If anyone can detect a homosexual agenda in the subtext of the film, it's Focus on the Family. "There are no wrestling scenes and no scenes in which the two share a bed. ... Onscreen, there are actually no overt signals that Holmes and Watson are anything more than close friends, roommates and business associates."

Huh. I guess I'll see it anyway.

Photo: dw@madametussaudlondon