Should Queer Immigrants Let Bigoted Laws Destroy Their Families?

So what do you do when the law won't permit you to be with the most meaningful person in your life?

Simple. You break it.

So writes Lauren Smiley in a piece for SF Weekly. And, to be perfectly honest, that makes complete sense to me.

Yes, it is illegal for somebody to be in this country without proper documentation. It is an administrative offense to reside here without authorization, a criminal offense to cross the border illegally. It is a violation of immigration law to lie to officials in order to gain entrance to the country — as in the case of "Sang," who told immigration authorities he was not married in order to continue to be able to enter the country and see his husband as a tourist. Yet it is a strange lie, since Sang's same-sex marriage is not recognized by the federal government (thanks, Defense of Marriage Act), so in a sense, he was also telling the truth.

Nonetheless, the real crime is to tear apart people who love one another because they are members of the same sex. If Sang and his partner were a heterosexual couple, their marriage would be recognized and Sang, who met Mark D. on vacation, could have immigrated to the United States legally on a spousal visa. Instead, they are discriminated against due to their sexual orientation, denied legal recognition, torn from one another's arms, in the service of an unjust, bigoted law. To be together, Sang and Mark D. are now trying to immigrate to Canada, which has more welcoming immigration policies and often accepts those fleeing homophobic policies in the U.S.

Smiley writes, "Jeff is a hipster on the verge of 40 whose philosophy boils down to this: If the law is a big f.u. to gay couples, then there's nothing wrong with giving an f.u. to the law." That's putting it in coarse language, but it gets at the point. Think about this: If a black person sitting at the front of the bus is illegal, does that mean people of color should shuffle along to the backseat? When Rosa Parks sat where she damn well pleased, who was in the wrong: Parks, or the law? That word, "illegal," means everything and nothing all at once.

The U.S. lags behind eight other countries, most recently Portugal, in legalizing same-sex marriage. It lacks the immigration provisions of 19 other countries that allow same-sex binational couples to sponsor a permanent partner for immigration, even if they cannot get married under law. It's about time we caught up and acted like the shining beacon of tolerance we should be. It's about time we stopped treating a portion of our population like second-class citizens.

Every queer couple living in America with one undocumented partner is engaging in a significant act of civil disobedience, like Rosa Parks on the bus, or sit-ins at sandwich counters during the civil rights movement. The law is wrong; they are in the right. Sometimes, you have to do what is right, even when it is illegal. I condemn the detentions and deportations that tear these loving couples apart. And I support their acts of civil disobedience. I wouldn't just lay back and let discriminatory, immoral, bigoted laws destroy my family either.

Photo credit: Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com