So What if Nobody Speaks English Anymore?

I’m going to make a bold, even confrontational, assertion: My English is better than yours.

I’m not saying it’s perfect. But I do my best to know my independent clauses from my subjunctive tenses. After all, I make my living as a writer, editor and copyeditor — and more than that, I also have a deep love of English.

That said, I don’t see why we need to make it our national language.

Now at this point, many readers may object and sputter, “But English is already our official language!”

I hate to break this to you, but America does not have a national language, and the U.S. Constitution would most likely need to be amended to incorporate one. Though several states have acted independently to make English their official language, there is no corresponding national law.

Of course, there is a political movement devoted to fixing this (to some) most grievous oversight. The lead organization is U.S. English, which has been laboring since 1983 “to promote English as the official language of the United States.”

The organization has attracted support from both conservatives and liberals. After all, it is not inherently racist or xenophobic to believe that a single language unites a nation. Right?

However, the organization has had an image problem for decades now, going back to when -- as the Atlantic reports — Linda Chavez, a once-prominent Hispanic member of the Reagan Administration, resigned because her U.S. English colleagues were prone to using "‘repugnant’ and ‘anti-Hispanic’ overtones" in its internal memos.

Yikes — maybe it’s not all about uniting us, after all.

Here in the U.S., we are constantly informed that speaking Spanish is an affront to American values. I’ve received emails from Latinos, for example, who are quite proud of the fact that their parents never taught them Spanish. I find this mystifying, as being bilingual is an enormous advantage in today’s world.

As recently as 1995, a judge overseeing a child-custody case in Texas told a woman that speaking only Spanish at home constituted abuse of her daughter. Little has changed in the ensuing decade. Today, some people still think being asked to press 'one' for English is the most egregious inconvenience in the world — as if stood prima facie as an example of oppression.

Now, I speak a little Spanish (I’m working to make it better), so maybe I have a different perspective than many Americans do. But I’ve never understood why overhearing people in the grocery store say, “Gracias” should offend me. To people who say, “It’s rude,” I would ask why individuals having private conservations are socially obliged to make it easier for you to eavesdrop on them.

Yes, people who fail to learn English are more likely to be poor, and one could argue that this is everybody’s problem. But this has little to do with the loathing that an overheard “Hola” can produce.

After all, no one has ever snapped, “Learn English!” at somebody and then followed it up with “Because it’s in your own economic self-interest and for the betterment of the nation if you do.”

No, the economic argument is a rationalization. Many of the people who insist that immigrants learn English are not admirers of the language’s nuances or sticklers about proper sentence construction or devoted followers of Grammar Girl. Nor do many of them really care if a single language brings people together. Frequently, what inspires them is simple paranoia about the “others” and fear that their comfortable status in society is disappearing.

If you disagree with me, I'd like to hear your opinion. But to prove your sincerity, I'd also like it if your comments also included your favorite English word (mine is “ambidextrous”). Also, watch your grammar, because I’ll be judging you.

Photo Credit: Daniel Cubias