Straight Talk

Political battles over LGBT rights have demonstrated that straight allies are crucial for helping ensure equal rights. Whether it's marriage equality in California, adoption rights in Arkansas, or hate crimes protection on the federal level, straight allies have been a central constituency of the LGBT rights movement.

Today's guest blogger, Ben Fractenberg, offers up a recap of his experience as a straight ally working in the office of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD). Ben, a contributing bloggers at Huffington Post and the New York City News Service, poses a terrific question: Who, if anyone, is speaking to a primarily straight audience about the LGBT movement? And how can straight people be better moved to act on behalf of LGBT rights?

In 2006 I began working for a media organization and struggled with how to come out to my co-workers. I knew many of my new colleagues might not be used to working alongside someone with my orientation. How exactly would I let them know I was straight? When I started working with the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD), I knew I was in the sexual minority. I wanted to let my colleagues know where I was on the good ol’ Kinsey scale without seeming self-conscious about it.

For the first time in my life, I became aware of the pronouns I was using to describe the people I dated. A typical morning water cooler conversation would go something like this:

Co-worker: So, what did you do last night?

Me: I went to the movies.

Co-worker: Was it a date?

Me: Yes, with, um, someone I’ve been seeing for a couple months.

Finally, a colleague just asked me directly if I was straight. I told him yes and was surprised to find out that most everyone already knew -- thanks, MySpace. My fellow employees were really curious as to why I’d want to work for a movement that did not benefit me directly. Honestly, I wasn’t fully prepared to answer the question, because I had never thought of it that way. I had always looked at my different political work as part of a larger progressive movement advocating full equality for all people, whether in terms of race, class, gender or sexual orientation.

I first began work in the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender movement back in 2002, when I helped lead a fundraising campaign for the Human Rights Campaign in Seattle. I had always been a strong supporter of LGBT rights, but had never gotten involved as an activist. As a straight ally, I was never sure about what my role could be. Moreover, as I realize now, I had strong fears about being perceived as gay. It is difficult to admit to yourself, no matter how progressive you are, the degree of unearned privilege you have, and even harder to knowingly give some of it up. I finally, and thankfully, decided to challenge my internalized homophobia and lend my support. It was a deeply rewarding experience and a lesson on issues concerning gender and sexuality straight men rarely get.

I eventually moved back to New York and started working as an organizer. After a couple of grueling years of long hours and low wages, I decided to take a different career path. I had recently completed an Americorps program, where I worked with underprivileged youth analyzing media messages and advertising techniques. My awareness of the influence of the media increased and I became increasingly interested in working toward creating a more responsive, transparent and independent press.

After finishing my Americorps service I began to look for media related work. It was through this search that I came across GLAAD. The organization seemed like a good opportunity for me to help improve the news Americans are presented with on a daily basis. My work at GLAAD was a mix of community organizing, PR and communications work. I learned how to craft good talking points, pitch stories, hold journalist accountable for poor coverage, draft persuasive op-eds and become a much for effective advocate for the progressive movement. Everyday I was challenged with difficult work and forced to think in new ways about the roles of gender and sexuality within our society. I did, however, start to feel increasingly isolated.

Though there were a few other hetero men working at GLAAD, I lacked a network of straight allies. I often felt like an interloper. What was the proper role for me? How could I meet and connect with other allies? Who, if anyone, was speaking to a primarily straight audience about the LGBT movement?

While it is great there are so many talented people writing about LGBT issues, there needs to be more space provided for straight people to read about and get involved with the movement. To the best of my knowledge, for example, there is a dearth of bloggers within the LGBT community writing from the perspective of a straight ally. Of course straight allies do not have the experiences of someone who is LGBT, but we can write about our experiences within the movement in a voice that would first make other straight people feel comfortable reading a blog about LGBT issues and then help move them towards action.

I left GLAAD early this summer to travel a bit before attending grad school for journalism in the fall. I am not officially working for the movement anymore, but I plan to continue writing about LGBT equality and encouraging other straight people to get involved. I hope an increasing number of allies decide to write about their experiences. As with similar struggles in the past, it is vitally important to get the support of those in the majority. While we cannot expect most to willingly give up their privilege, we can aim towards getting a new vociferous cadre of allies involved who can speak to and engage the straight community in ways the movement never has before.