The Death of Homophobia?

Homophobia is not dead. But you might think it was if you read the newspapers lately. The Mormon Church supports gay and lesbian rights — just so long as those don’t extend to marriage. Charles Cooper, the attorney fighting to defend Prop 8 in Federal Court, assures us the discriminatory statute is based on neither “ill will nor animosity toward gay people,” although he still claims that legalizing our unions will somehow damage society.

Frankly, I’d rather our opponents just came out and said they hated us, like they used to. I don’t mean to be flip about this. Being supported by powerful organizations and individuals in our quest for protections is of inestimable value. But homophobia is still homophobia, no matter how smooth and politically correct it sounds — and fighting to keep us second class citizens without being able to offer even one practical argument for doing so is the very essence of homophobia.

Bigotry can only be overcome when it’s out in the open. If homophobia is going under the radar, how will we heal it?

Twice, way back in the 80s, I spent time in South Africa. This was under apartheid, a system so blatantly racist and unjustifiable it was almost impossible to believe in, even at the time. But the really shocking thing about South Africa in those days was how quickly it changed. Between my two trips, the legal situation didn’t alter. But the social one transformed completely. On my first trip, I never saw mixed black and white groups out at dinner together or chatting on the streets, but three years later such scenes were everywhere. On my first trip, people mentioned Nelson Mandela only in whispered voices, but on my second trip his name was brought up constantly, and long debates about when he would be released appeared in every paper.

Why did this revolution happen so swiftly and peacefully? Because every South African talked about race all the time, to everyone. Every person I met wanted to know “What do you think of our country? What do you think of our racial situation?” It was the number one topic of conversation.

When issues are out in the open, they can change. It’s secrecy and denial that make change impossible. In the U.S. in the 80s we were afraid to talk about race. And today we’re still crippled by social inequities, distrust, and all the other manifestations of an underlying racism we’re afraid to admit to. Our society’s transformation is much, much slower than South Africa’s, because we’re not facing the truth.

We mustn’t let the same thing happen in the debate about LGBT rights. If the Prop 8 supporters really do think we’re just dandy people, then why do they fear we’ll somehow damage their marriages? If they respect us and regard us as equal, then why do they believe we’ll be such a disruption in the armed forces?

Homophobia is homophobia, no matter how prettily it dresses itself up. And if we’re going to overcome it, we can’t afford to pretend it’s not there.

Photo credit: Kurt Löwenstein Educational Center International Team