"The Faggiest:" A True Story

Those of you who know me or my work know that I'm an avid comic book fan.

It's no surprise, then, that I recently found myself talking about funny books to two strangers while at a concert in Santa Fe, a town known as much for its art scene as for its amiable population.

It's nearly impossible to visit that city without engaging in at least one conversation with a perfect stranger, who more often than not welcomes you with open arms. Sometimes, however, those arms come to a sudden, sobering shut.

Picture the scene: I'm at a well-known bar, drinking and listening to live music with friends, all of whom end up on the back patio. As the evening swirled on, I caught a snippet of a neighboring conversation: "Genosha, that place is nuts!" Fans of the X-Men franchise are well aware of the fictional nation's role in mutant history: first used as a prison camp, it's now a wasteland after many super-powered wars.

Hearing that magic nerd word, I inserted myself into the conversation with the two strangers, a man and a woman about my age, and we chatted on and on for a good thirty minutes, weighing in on a host of comic-related issues.

Things were going swimmingly until the conversation turned to the Disney-owned Marvel comics, which, according to the man, has been "publishing the faggiest stories this year." My heart skipped a beat.

In an instant I was confronted with a choice: ignore this otherwise charming man's ignorance, or call him out. I chose the latter. "Excuse me," I interjected, "but I find your use of 'faggiest' to be quite offensive." He rapidly attempted a defense: "Oh, come on, brother, I didn't mean it like that." Of course he did, I retorted: "How else could you mean it? You just used 'faggiest' as a synonym for bad, or at least worthy of scorn." He paused, obviously unsure of how to reply. Then, "Well, do you want to continue this conversation, or end it?" Again, I chose the latter.

Homophobia can pop up when you least suspect it, and in the most unexpected of places. I never expected the "F-word" to come flying out of this man's mouth. I'm happy, however, that I said something, a courage I may not have had I not been surrounded by friends.

As fellow Change.org contributor Maia Spotts discovered recently, finding voice to fight homophobia head-on can leave one with a strength as yet undiscovered. That man may continue to spew irresponsible slang, but at least I shamed him as best I could, and hopefully he'll at least think twice when choosing his words in the future. If not, I'm still happy I stood by my gay guns and confronted this nonchalant, insidious hate.

Photo credit: Denise's Flickr.