The Humility of America's Favorite LGBT Student

Constance McMillen has become a lot of things to an awful lot of people these past few weeks. Less than a month ago, she was an 18-year-old high school student at Itawamba Agricultural High School in Fulton, Mississippi. Today, she's become a de facto face of the movement for LGBT student rights, blazing a trail from the courtrooms of Mississippi to the couches of America's most popular talk shows.

McMillen, openly lesbian, sued her school earlier this month after they refused to allow her to attend the prom with her girlfriend. In a town of 4,000 people, where anti-gay fervor runs a little high, it was a bold move to bring the movement for LGBT equality to the most local of levels in this country. Her school, as the world would soon find out, canceled the prom altogether rather than be forced to allow McMillen and her girlfriend to show up and drink punch together.

This week, McMillen won her court case, with a federal judge in Mississippi saying that by canceling the prom, the Itawamba Agricultural High School violated McMillen's rights. It was a victory for McMillen in name only -- the judge refused to order the school to reinstate the prom, and Itawamba Agricultural High School has buckled down in their decision to cancel the prom. There will be no gay couples, straight couples, or slow dances to "Save the Best for Last" or "Lady in Red."

McMillen responded to her court victory with what has become her standard humility.

"It hurts me that they would rather punish everybody than just do the right thing," said McMillen, happy that she won her court case, but sad that she won't get to partake in one of the high school year's most celebrated activities.

McMillen has become a national hero. Wanda Sykes asked McMillen to present an equality award in her name. Ellen DeGeneres brought McMillen on her show to award her $30,000 scholarship and announce that she could have an internship at tonic.com this summer. And other schools around the country have expressed their support for McMillen by inviting her to their prom.

And yet, despite the international celebrity, McMillen says that at the end of the day, she'd really just like to see her equal rights validated in her own community. Ah, the humility of people who place civil rights before ego.

McMillen went back to school this week, describing to CNN an experience that was a mix of emotions. There were people that supported her in her class, but also many who treated McMillen like a pariah. (In the wake of McMillen's lawsuit against the school, local anti-gay thugs put homophobic signs up on her school, trying to shut McMillen up and return Itawamba Agricultural High to the sole ownership of the Bible Belt.) She said she had to see a doctor to deal with the anxiety of all of this.

But she also said that she had no regrets. She just thought she was doing the right thing.

"All McMillen, who came out as a lesbian in eighth grade, ever wanted was to go to her school prom with her class, and with her girlfriend," CNN reported. "She never meant to be a spoiler for others when she sought approval to bring her girlfriend and wear a tuxedo ... she thought she was doing the right thing by asking in advance."

Ben Franklin said that "humility makes great men twice honorable." I think it makes lesbian students ten times more honorable. And McMillen's humility in her fight for LGBT student equality is something that is inspiring hundreds of thousands of others. As Izzy Pellegrine, a 19-year-old board member of the Mississippi Safe Schools Coalition said to CNN, McMillen's story is pushing their state one step closer to LGBT equality.

"Usually Mississippi is 10 or 20 years behind," Pellegrine said. "For Mississippi to be spearheading the LGBT student movement is unheard of. I, personally, and my co-workers are so proud to have it happen in our state."

There's another narrative here, and as someone who grew up in a relatively small-to-suburban town, it resonates for me. And it's that LGBT students don't need to think, while growing up, that their only sanctuary is a big city in a bluer than blue state. And that's something McMillen's story has shown more than anything else -- equal rights not only can happen, but has to happen, in our own backyards.

Photo credit: Let Constance Take Her Girlfriend to the Prom