The Importance of Healing for Queer Folks

Sometimes it feels like being queer in America means continuously getting your teeth kicked in. Though our side has seen great victories and strides in equality, there is a never-ending shortage of talking heads who verbally pulverize us at every turn. Gay foes call us pedophiles, abominations, perverts, sinners and the ruin of America and its families.

Though we often turn to anger when attacked by these accusations, the root of our dismay might actually be profound hurt and rejection. Whether we're withstanding the quiet disapproval of a co-worker or the outright shame of parents and loved ones, it's easy to let the seemingly interminable drip-drop of negative gay imagery and stereotypes infiltrate our hearts and minds.

The incidence of depression among gays and lesbians is disproportionately high, with about 60%-70% seeking mental health counseling of some kind. Despite being a strong and resilient people, we're still people. When others demonize and stigmatize us in humiliating ways, it can be incredibly depressing.

This past weekend at the Creating Change Conference in Dallas, I caught a screening of Two Spirits, a documentary that explores gender and sexuality through the Navajo concept of being two-spirited. Navajos celebrated the role of individuals who fully integrate masculinity and femininity in one body. Lydia Nibley, Director of Two Spirits, poignantly demonstrated how Western Society has attacked this duality of gay and transgender people.

"I wanted Two Spirits to reflect the depth of the wounds people have experienced around gender and sexuality," Nibley says, "but also focusing on the healing of those wounds."

While the film predominately focuses on the murder of a transgender teen, Nibley included a brief but striking scene of gay men from the early gay spirituality movement, which she describes as "a spontaneous and intuitive mud ritual to heal their bodies and spirits." The footage projected serenity and togetherness from another place and time when we came together as a people to heal from the hatred of society. And it was beautiful.

Though we may not have the time or desire to slather our bodies in mud in order to heal, we must recognize that we are not impervious to the hatred of society. We absolutely have to make conscious strides to mend these hurts ... we can't be soldiers in this war if we're all wounded. Check out the following list of websites, books and resources that might help you in your journey. If you have other resources or stories of your own personal growth, please share them in the comments!

White Crane Resources - Includes a massive categorical list of workshops, blogs, magazines, gatherings, churches, teachers, etc. that aid in gay spirituality and healing.

Oasis Journals - A resource where gay and questioning youth can write about their feelings/struggles/etc. (I especially enjoyed this post!) Writing about hurt is an amazing form of therapy.

The Gender Identity Project - Focusing on creating a healthy self-image for transgender or non-conforming gender individuals.

Online bookstores - There's nothing like the shame of tip-toeing through the self-help section. Nevertheless, there are some great books out there!

And please look out for a local screening of Two Spirits, a phenomenal documentary which can aid everyone in the healing process.

Photo Credit: Guerilla Futures / Jason Tester