The Jewish Standard Says Same-Sex Wedding Announcements Cause Pain

It was a moment greeted with celebration and joy for many when they glanced at their issue of last week's Jewish Standard, a popular Jewish publication in New Jersey. For the first time, the publication chose to print an announcement of a same-sex couple's intent to marry. Love, commitment, and joy. What could go wrong?

Apparently a group of anti-gay readers didn't quite enjoy seeing the joyful image of a same-sex couple in their paper. So instead of moving forward with the signs of the times, The Jewish Standard is back-tracking on their decision to publish same-sex wedding announcements. Their readership isn't ready, the Standard argues. And then they go on to apologize for the hurt they may have caused readers offended by seeing the same-sex couple's announcement.

Sorry, the hurt that a few anti-gay readers felt? How about the pain of LGBT people and their family members who are watching The Jewish Standard backtrack on equality?

"We set off a firestorm last week by publishing a same-sex couple’s announcement of their intent to marry. Given the tenor of the times, we did not expect the volume of comments we have received, many of them against our decision to run the announcement, but many supportive as well," The Jewish Standard said in an announcement printed yesterday. "A group of rabbis has reached out to us and conveyed the deep sensitivities within the traditional/Orthodox community to this issue. Our subsequent discussions with representatives from that community have made us aware that publication of the announcement caused pain and consternation, and we apologize for any pain we may have caused."

The Jewish Standard then goes on to say that they won't publish same-sex wedding announcements in the future.

There you have it. Same-sex wedding announcements cause pain and consternation, and The Jewish Standard is sorry for ever allowing a same-sex couple to grace its pages.

Maybe it's time to send The Jewish Standard a little message, letting them know that their decision to eliminate same-sex wedding announcements from their paper is bad for business, and bad for the principles of love and commitment that lie at the core of their theology.

Funny that The Jewish Standard cites a group of readers and rabbis who were upset with their original decision to publish the same-sex wedding announcement. Because if you read over the comments now being left for the Jewish Standard on their Web site, it reads like a slew of marriage equality supporters.

"How disappointing for this publication, one where I always felt at home reading about this accepting Jewish faith. You have lost a faithful reader in me," user Leah writes. "To say the least, I am extremely saddened, disappointed and disheartened by my own people and our religious and supposed moral leaders."

She's not the only one.

"I am dismayed that a newspaper which seeks to be a voice for the ENTIRE Jewish community in Northern New Jersey, not just for 'a group of rabbis within the traditional/Orthodox community,' would make such an unjust editorial decision," says Jordan Namerov. "What a shame that gay and lesbian Jews will open up the pages of The Jewish Standard and be told that there is no place for them here. How terribly painful to send a message to those who are leading meaningful Jewish lives that their love is not worthy of communal recognition."

There's a host of others. Perhaps none more powerful than reader "Wayne's" comment:

"Absolutely despicable decision, and the most craven form of journalism. I assume the Standard will also stop running articles about women who work outside the home, wear immodest clothing, or sing in the presence of men, since those people might behave in way that offends the delicate sensitivities of a few readers?" Wayne says. "When you cave in to the most restrictive among us, you alienate everyone else — and pushing certain people back into invisibility in order to avoid being 'divisive' is, in itself, a horribly divisive stand. Shame."

And that's really the crux of the argument there. The Jewish Standard wants to make same-sex couples invisible, and their editorial statement affirming their decision to ban same-sex wedding announcements caters to the lowest common denominator in discussions surrounding faith and sexuality: fear. Fear that the world is changing, that more and more people support their LGBT relatives/friends/neighbors, and that the rights that heterosexuals claimed all for themselves are opening up to others.

Sad that The Jewish Standard is willing to cave in like this. Their mission statement says they're "not affiliated with any program, organization, movement, or point of view, but [are] dedicated to giving expression to all phases of Jewish life." Talk about failing to live up to their own mission statement.

Send the Jewish Standard a message that their decision to render same-sex couples invisible only serves to create more division and hurt. Readers should demand better of the editors at the publication.

Photo credit: MZPromise