The Power of Pleasure

“In our culture,” she said, while beatifically seated on a cushion, “women have been conditioned to have closed sexuality and open feelings, and men to have open sexuality and closed feelings. There’s this whole area of resistance and shame.”

Those are the words of Nicole Daedone, the founder of One Taste, which is a sexual retreat center in San Francisco written about by the New York Times this week. The center promotes the concept of “the slow-sex movement" that places a near-exclusive emphasis on women’s pleasure. (Oh my, I thought the day would never come!)

I have to say I am impressed to see this type of mentality finding a place in society. It is hopeful to see the stirrings of a sexual revolution - where sex becomes less taboo and seen as a fulfilling means to discover the self. I think the quote from Nicole above is especially powerful because it highlights the tension that continues to plague male-female relationships in terms of emotional and sexual repression.

In fighting for equality as a feminist, I think it is also important to fight for access to one's own sexual power. Understanding the true power within one's own body can certainly manifest a sense of empowerment in the external world. I would hope that the more women and men who attempt to unlock the true nature of their sexual desires, the fewer deviant acts of sex will occur.

I do have one provocative question for Change.org readers - as you strive toward sexual fulfillment, what else might be missing? Don't forget the lessons of Betty Friedan's Feminine Mystique: whether it's trying to have an orgasm while waxing the floor or while having sex with your boyfriend, make sure you discover what it is you are really seeking and don't use sex as an excuse to evade your true desires.