The Secret of Networking is to Give Way More

The old model of networking is all about assertiveness and hustle. Push to get the meeting; push to deliver your pitch. Push, push, push. The new model of networking is all about listening and giving. Less about the business card, less about what you need, and a whole lot more about what you can provide.

Why do we network? We network to find support, whatever our enterprise may be. Sometimes that support is financial, sometimes it's an implementation partner, sometimes it's something entirely different. The perception is, for many, that it's about finding ways to get what you need.

But that's actually dead wrong. Networking is not - at least usually - about finding the specific things you need. Far more, it is about building layers of support that can be leveraged later on. It's much less like a transaction - where you contribute to get something back immediately - and far more like interacting with a community, in which you expect a return for your inputs, but when and how that return comes is not determined at the time.

When people network from the "I need this now" position, it makes them far less likely to actually get what they need. And even if it works for a while, it quickly builds a "taker" reputation that can be extremely hard to shed.

On the other hand, when people network by learning what others do, what they care about, and what they need, and then do their best to provide the connections and other assets that can help their new contacts achieve their goals, it builds layers and layers of good will and personal brand value. These perceptions are extremely convertible to real resources, introductions, and connections later on.

So give more. A whole lot more. That's what tools like LinkedIn are really about - giving you the tools to put more in. Sure, you'll get more out eventually, too, but you may just find in the process giving feels pretty good.

Photo: Mr. Kris