The Wily Quotation Marks of Homophobes

I think grammar people take themselves way too seriously. Congratulations! You haven't spliced a comma since the third grade. BFD. Call me when you get a six pack. Then I’ll be impressed.

Yet sometimes, I can’t help but feel bad for the ol’ English language. People dress it up in that hideous Comic Sans outfit and force it to be at constant attention with all caps. They poke it with "izzle" and cut off its legs with text speak. It almost makes you feel bad enough to diagram a sentence. But sometimes, even a grammar rebel like me can’t handle seeing someone abort the English language any further.

Such is the case with some anti-gay religious leaders and their overuse of the quotation mark. Like a five-year-old throwing a temper tantrum, these folks have thrown their lips out in a big grammar pout. They loathe the appearance of validating gay people on any level, so they put quotation marks around anything they find offensive. Let me give you some examples from real, live fundamentalist websites.

From the American Family Association, on why we shouldn’t watch the Today Show: “After a meeting with gay and lesbian activists, NBC's "Today" show said it is changing the rules for its annual wedding contest to allow homosexual "couples" to apply for a wedding ceremony conducted on morning TV. NBC extended the deadline for applications until Monday to accommodate homosexuals who want to get "married" on a live television airing of the show in October.”

Not to be out done, the Focus on the Family website also takes part in some hot quotation action. “No matter where one turns in the culture today, the issue of homosexuality and "gender identity" is being hotly debated. The "homosexual rights" ideology continues to seek legitimization.” And on the subject of Focus on the Family’s ex-gay therapy, they say “Bowing to the forces of political correctness, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) in 1998 issued a position statement "rebuking" practices that are broadly referred to as "reparative therapy" for homosexuality.”

I’ve got to hand it to those religious zealots: sneaking in those quotation marks is actually a pretty brilliant and sneaky way to subtly train readers’ eyes to automatically relate anything pertaining to being gay or the fight for equality as something faux, sarcastic, or untrue. By saying “couples” and “homosexual rights,” what these fundamentalists are trying to say, of course, is that these things don’t exist. When reading any materials that use quotes effusively, it intentionally causes the reader to process the information differently than without the quotes.

I have always been one to fight fire with fire, so I propose that when we speak, we do it in a language that they understand. Like so: The ultra-conservative “evangelical” agenda “uses” the Bible as a way to “prove” concepts such as the “perversion” of homosexuality, and also how Adam and Eve lived with the dinosaurs. They “love” everyone, though, and only want “the best” for them – unless “them” is gays. Even though people say how the “evangelicals” have gone so far as to advocate for the criminalization and deaths of gays, “Christians” find that “reprehensible.” They will continue to show “tolerance” for the gays as long as the gays don’t want “rights” or “equality.”

You see what I did there? I managed to challenge the validity of fundamentalist beliefs quite effectively by only the use of quotation marks.  If you blinked, you might have missed it. That is why we must not blink when zealots try to throw small things our way, such as mocking and belittling us by using the almighty quotation mark. Though it seems small, it is the details where the devil lives. Every time they call us "couples" or talk about our "rights," they are coloring the beliefs, subconsciously or consciously, of all who read. The practice of overusing quotation marks is basically gay bashing in a seemingly inoffensive way.

And that's why it is all the more dangerous.

Photo Credit: Phillie Casablanca