This Just In: Sex Isn't Going to Destroy You!

I had a hard time typing that headline, I was laughing so hard at the ridiculous notion that people still have to do studies to figure that out. I guess I take my feminist sensibilities for granted, and what I've read and learned about sex and relationships beyond the meager half-truths, and the sometimes outright lies, of abstinence-only education. Of course, I remember how limited my own high school's sex education program was and how much it lacked in what I needed to know to stay safe -- and it wasn't ab-only.

A study done by the University of Minnesota finds that only a fifth of sexually active youth participate in casual sex, or this rampant "hookup culture" we hear so much about from conservatives and the anti-feminist crowd. (And really, so what?) More importantly, the study found that, of those people, there was no significant decrease in their emotional well being. In other words, they seemed perfectly happy with the joy of a crash and go sexcapade, contradicting abstinence-proponents' arguments about how sex before marriage or casual sex will destroy us, making us all bitter, unhappy, lonely people. (Think duct tape.)

Well, gosh, color me shocked! Shocked I tell you!

In other words, you mean to tell me that teens and adults are capable of making informed decisions about sex, and that they are also capable of living with and being reasonably happy with those choices?

*ahem*

What I mean to say is that, most feminists and other informed people could have told you this without a fancy study.

Something else the study noticed, which also isn't exactly news, is that the percentage of STIs is on the rise. This, however, is not a result of this infamous "hook-up culture," but rather of that grand plan of conservatives: abstinence-only sex ed. When you deny people all the information possible to keep them safe, they will make risky decisions. They can't make informed decisions based on half truths and biases. It really is that simple.

We have seen over and over again telling teens to not have sex doesn't stop them. Instead, it teaches them to be so ashamed that they are afraid to talk to anyone about sex or ask for information on protection. As the University of Minnesota's School of Public Health assistant professor Marla Eisenburg said, we should "focus on the things that are real threats," which includes "interpersonal violence, pregnancy risk and STDs, not on the theory that casual sex is emotionally harmful." Too true.

Thankfully, resources exist for teens and young adults who have questions about sex and staying safe, such as local Planned Parenthoods or other similar centers. There are great resources online, too -- take one of my favorite websites, Scarleteen, which offers accurate information for teens and answers questions about sex, sexuality, birth control, STD/STIs, pregnancy, and so many other topics. They are currently trying to expand their site to include services like a cell phone capable search, a find-a-doc resource that includes rape/assault counseling, and LGBTQ-specific health services, so consider donating to them this holiday season. (To make your gift tax-deductible, donate to Scarleteen through the Center for Sex and Culture.)

Consenting parties enjoying sex doesn't destroy happiness. Keeping information from them based on the ideology of a minority of people puts them at risk for infection, life threatening diseases, and unplanned and life-altering pregnancies -- and that might impact their happiness. Let's stop worrying about what is going on in consenting people's bedrooms and start getting good, factual information out so more people can stay safe. And happy.

Photo credit: pedrosimoes7 on Flickr