Three Things More People Need to Know About Gay Equality

Jody Huckaby is part of Change.org's Changemakers network, comprised of leading voices for social change. Jody is the executive director of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG).

On most days, I am convinced that I must have one of the best jobs in the world: I am the executive director of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) National, an organization whose mission is so personal to me, and whose issues are so critical that talking about what we do is simple.

One of the great perks of my job happens to be that I’m often asked for my opinion on topics ranging from the best way to come out to your family to what I think about Adam Lambert. The question that comes up more often than any other, however, is this: “So what is the most important political issue for lesbian, gay, bi, and transgender (LGBT) people these days?”

If only the answer were as easy as offering my American Idol picks.

The truth is that there isn’t one singular issue that can stand above any others these days. For all of the tremendous progress that LGBT people have made, there are still issues that that shock me … and most people that I talk to. So as I sat down to write my first submission for Changemakers, I realized that it couldn’t be any one political issue that would take the lead over others. Instead, I came up with three things that I wish more people knew — not surprisingly, each one focuses on equality.

One: People don’t get fired for being straight –- but they can if they’re LGBT.

Hard as it is to believe, the majority of this country isn’t such a welcoming place for LGBT people. In 29 states, gay people can get fired, not hired, or not promoted just for not being straight. And the same applies for transgender people in 38 states. Tragically, there is hardly a week that goes by when I don’t hear one of these stories that challenge the very ideal of the American meritocracy. While corporate America has made huge progress on addressing the issue through the right policies -– as of this year, 305 businesses scored a perfect 100 percent on the Corporate Equality Index, ensuring that non-discrimination policies are in place –- the federal government has not addressed the issue. Passage of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) would remedy the problem, but it isn’t going to happen unless more people get angry about this obscene reality.

Two: There are more than 1,100 federal benefits and obligations that committed gay couples are denied simply for who they are.

The topic of marriage equality has risen to the forefront of many news stories, especially with stories coming out of California, Maine, and D.C. Unfortunately, what often doesn’t get discussed is why these state-level outcomes are, in many ways, secondary to the fact that the Defense of Marriage Act or DOMA (which was signed into law in 1996) continues to empower the federal government to not recognize these unions. Thanks to this legislation, we are in a position where every state could legalize same-sex marriage and the federal government would still not recognize a single union.

DOMA wrote discrimination into federal law because it defined marriage as the union of one man and one woman, and, in doing so, deprived committed couples access to more than 1,000 benefits and obligations that their straight counterparts enjoy. Because of DOMA, there are no survivor benefits if one partner dies –- no matter how long the couple has been together or how committed they were. These same people would also have to pay taxes on health insurance that is free for straight couples. And marriages no longer “count” once people leave the state they married in -– so the five-minute trip between Virginia and D.C., for example, actually changes people’s marital status depending on what side of the border they’re on. I’d guess that the vast majority of married couples never have cause to think about such challenges (nor should they) but this is a daily reality for millions of gay couples.

Three: While our military continues to search for talent to lead its efforts, talented, patriotic LGBT servicemembers are still being discharged.

Any quick look at the evening news is a reminder that the need for qualified, committed military personnel exists. However, in spite of this need, the U.S. military has discharged almost 800 mission-critical troops and at least 59 Arabic and nine Farsi linguists under "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" in the last five years. Why? Simply because they aren’t straight.

While members of the military seem to be more comfortable with the presence of LGBT colleagues (one in four U.S. troops who served in Afghanistan or Iraq knows a member of their unit who is gay) the legislation to repeal the "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" policy that was originally implemented in 1993 continues to prevail. Congressional action is needed, but it is unclear when this movement will happen.

Today, there are at least 65,000 gay Americans serving on active duty and one million gay veterans in the United States, according to the Urban Institute. These men and women deserve the same freedom and respect that their straight servicemembers receive.

So ultimately, is there one thing that I’d like people to know about? Perhaps it is this: We need you to DO something. There are LGBT people who are your friends and family who are subject to realities just like this every day. The momentum for freedom is here, but we can’t do it without you. Shamelessly, I’d suggest that everyone visit www.pflag.org today to learn more about how to take action, of course.

Afraid this might seem too activist-oriented for you? Then check out our Straight for Equality website (www.straightforequality.org), our non-political, non-confrontational approach to inviting, educating and engaging straight people on LGBT issues. Our program helps straight people recognize that there are very simple things that can be done today to help create substantive change.

In a new decade where equality is certainly on the horizon, make a commitment today to doing something to help move equality forward. It’s clear that change is in the making — join in to become a real change maker in 2010.And don’t wait for my picks for American Idol this year — my iPod is filled with songs from those who were not on the top of my list each season!

Photo credit: samm4mrox