Top Ten Things That Never Would Have Happened If I Didn't Make It Past High School

This is the second in a series of posts by Change.org writers, reflecting on the bullying or harassment they experienced growing up, by compiling a top ten list of the things in life that got better once they made it out of some rather homophobic settings. Check out the original piece in this series here, and if you have your own list, please feel free to include it in the comments.

1. College: Nothing in the world beats suffocating parents and intolerant high school mates than a good dose of college freedom. It's miraculous how in a matter of literally minutes you can go from total dependence to utter freedom. You can shed everything that you don't like about your life when you walk through that campus entrance and create a safe, like-minded environment with friends, potential lovers, and even classes that suit your little gay heart. College is the ultimate equalizer and if you can only hang on until then, things can instantaneously get better the moment you lay those extra long twin fitted sheets on your dormitory bed. (Not to mention that in college, I got laid a lot and had the best time of my life).

2. Graduate school: I know, sounds like a dorky second choice, but for me, graduate school was the most enriching experience of my life. This was a time in my life when I pushed my brain (and my time management skills) to the max. I also made lifelong friends with some pretty amazing artists and anarchists and intellectuals. I made connections that would help me in my career in media and that I still hold on to and value today. Plus, I got to attend the high-brow, snooty academic cocktail parties, where I sipped red wine and talked about the state of society and how dreadfully wrong everything and everyone was. Plus, those parties always had awesome cheese spreads.

3. Love: I Loved. And I lost. And I loved again, and lost again. But what did that famous, insightful writer once say, "Better to have had your heart ripped out of your chest and stamped on with a stiletto than never to have had that sloppy make-out session in the bathroom of the gay bar at all." I paraphrase, but I would not for a second trade all of the loving and losing I experienced since high school. Sure, the relationships I've been in weren't all perfect -- hell, none of them were -- but they were all worth it.

4. Finding the one: At least I hope she's the one, but after all the hemming and hawing with all those others that were not the one, I found someone who I want to walk through the world alongside. I don't know if marriage or kids or anything traditional is in the equation, but it feels like a true arrival to have found someone who I can share everything with, a culmination of all the other bad dates, dysfunctional relationships, and plain-ole good times I had prior, that I never would have experienced had I ended it all before it even started.

5. Seeing the world: If I never lived past high school, I wouldn't have been able to enjoy the warm crispiness of a croissant fresh out of the oven on a cool morning in Paris. I never would have stood on the top of a mountain after a six-hour hike in the Tyrol in Austria. I never would have seen fish the size of myself while snorkeling in Barbados, Mexico, the Virgin Islands. I never would have had the sweet juices from a fresh mango drip down on chin in Copacabana, Brazil. I never would have worn a funny hat in Canada, smoked some dope in Amsterdam, or sung "Sound of Music" cheesiness at the Von Trapp Family Lodge in Vermont, to name just a few. Travel has ripped my mind off the hinges and created some all-important perspective. I hope to live long enough to see a great deal more of the world.

6. Independence: The coolest thing about getting out of high school and growing up is that you actually get to do all those things you wanted to do but weren't allowed to when you were younger. You can stay up as late as you want, eat ice cream for breakfast, party like it's 1999, wear that outfit your mother hated, etc. It's likely that you'll (hopefully) realize at some point that it's probably best to do laundry, get a full night's sleep, and eat vegetables from time to time, but the point is that you have the authority over your own life and the freedom to make decisions as they best suit your wants and needs.

7. Epiphanies: I live for these moments; those rare, invaluable times when a life-changing conclusion enters into your consciousness; like the first time I realized I was gay and it was OK. The first time I really understood that life always marches on. When Plato's cave parable finally made sense. When I learned that I had ultimate control of my body. Breaking habits. I look forward to getting older and learning even more truths about myself and the world around me.

8. Making a Difference: Whether it's writing about marginalized people to bring awareness to a cause, dropping a dollar into the homeless man's cup on the street, or been just being on the other end of the phone for a friend in need, making a difference in someone else's life has made me feel more alive and it's something I would never have realized in my adolescence

9. Fulfilling potential: I've wanted to be a writer since as early as I can remember. I wrote bad poetry at age seven and an even more insipid book when I was double that age, but I always held onto that dream. While I'm still relatively young and have much potential yet to fulfill, I have gotten closer and closer to that dream with every step I've take in life. I wrote for my high school paper and then my college one. I then started to freelance for some cool publications and now am happy to report that I write for a living - and some pretty fun writing at that. One day I hope to be able to write even more leisurely and with even wider reach (from my beach house with no alarm clocks), but things are pretty sweet and I'm living the life that at age 14, 15, and 16 I had only dreamt about.

10. Feeling confident: The older I get, the more confident I am. I enjoy things more deeply because I know myself more intimately. I understand my mind, body, and spirit better. Since high school, I've greatly developed my likes and dislikes and, as a result, everything from dinner and social activities, to the company I keep to sex are astronomically better than they were then.

*A little bonus list of below of the top 10 things I never would have enjoyed had I not made it past high school:

10. The Caribbean
9. Filet mignon
8. Living on my own
7. Dirty martinis
6. High tea at the Russian Tea Room
5. My cat
4. Aurora borealis
3. My family
2. My G-spot
1. Becoming an adult!

Photo credit: yoppy