Useful Skills in the Far, Far Abroad

One of my favorite bloggers is Alanna Shaikh, who writes on on international development at Blood and Milk - and now also writes on Global Health for Change.org.

Going back through Google Reader, I found one of Alanna's posts from just before Christmas, about the various useful skills one picks up abroad, such as how to open a can of food with a knife and how to bath in three liters of water.  Also includes useful tips on how to eat food that you hate:

"Cut the offending food into the smallest possible pieces. Put it in your mouth, one piece at a time. Do not chew; swallow the piece whole. Put ketchup on whatever it is if possible.

Note: You need a lot of beverage to really make this work, but it really helps a lot with life’s truly gross foods, and it is subtle enough not to offend the cheerful host who just filled your plate."

Which got me thinking of the worst meals I had overseas.  There was the sorghum in South Darfur - or not so much the sorghum itself, as the green, clotted - almost viscous - liquid that was poured on top.  (Think mucus; or, better, don't.)   Cold, days-old fish in Congo.  Or at least I assume it was days-old.  Which would at least explain the taste.

No problems with mutton, lamb or goat, which helped to no end in Afghanistan and Kenya.  Then again, sometimes the language barrier proved far more problematic than the food.  As the time at a restaurant in Burundi when I thought I would impress my colleagues with my grasp of French, as we all waited for our goat brochettes.

Tragically, my French was never particularly good to begin with, and somewhere along the way I forgot that the French say "I have hunger", as opposed to the far more logical "I am hungry".  My accent also leaves something to be desired; tho it's not my fault that the French words for "hunger" and "woman" sound shockingly alike.

Long-story short, I wound up announcing loudly to my colleagues - and the restaurant as a whole - that I was a woman.  Then, just to make sure everyone completely understand, I repeated that I was very woman.

Which resulted in no small amount of confusion, to say the least.

(Some might say that complaining about the cuisine in areas where people frequently go hungry is somewhat tactless.  True.  Yet Sudanese sorghum dishes are still a rude surprise if you're not prepared.)

[Image of a man selling goat brochettes in Uganda from jeremierita.canalblog.com]