Valerie Bertinelli and the Bikini Body Disorder

Like baseball and ballet recitals, attaining the perfect bikini body has evolved into an all-American pastime. Starting with spring break and extending through Labor Day, women and girls across the country strive to lose weight, tone their tummies and find a flattering swimsuit. You must earn your fun in the sun with a suitable figure.

We are a nation suffering from bikini body disorder. So People magazine is patting itself on the back for putting a 48-year-old TV star in a two-piece bathing suit on the cover. While this editorial decision does challenge one ideal, the article staunchly supports another. The Valerie Bertinelli story is all about losing weight. Thanks to a rigid diet and exercise routine, the actress was able to whittle her figure down to a stereotypically accepted size 6. Apparently middle aged women can be sexy, but they have to drop 50 lbs. first.

This wasn't Bertinelli's first People cover. In April 2007, she was featured for her public declaration to slim down. "I need to do this in front of millions of people so I can't mess up," Bertinelli says. "It is freeing because I can say it first: I know what you're thinking - I'm fat." According to the current issue, she rarely made public appearances at her high weight of 172 lbs. This is obviously a woman with serious body image issues. But two years and a Jenny Craig endorsement later, she's bearing it all on the beach, promoting herself as a health and weight-loss activist.

Because age is one of the ways our society discriminates against women's bodies, the story initially appears inspirational. "A bikini? I'm too old for bikinis!" cries Bertinelli. "Then I realized, Wait a minute. Why not a bikini?" But the article quickly devolves into a glorified diet ad.

At times, it goes a step further, eerily echoing eating disorder rhetoric. "I'm just one jalapeno popper away from being 40 lbs. heavier again," says Bertinelli. She adds that every time she looks in the mirror, "My eyes go immediately to the parts I don't like, the jiggly bits."

This type of story reinforces extreme dieting and negative body image. Bertinelli claims, "We all just need to appreciate our bodies for what they are, jiggly bits and all." But she obviously could not do that herself. Not only did she diet down to 132 lbs. in nine months, she got down to 123 for the photo shoot, hiring a personal trainer and restricting her calories to rock bottom levels. Now she vows to "stay vigilant" and keep working on her waistline.

Far from a tale of body acceptance, Bertinelli's bikini quest exemplifies our twisted obsession with weight loss. It supports the cliché that no matter how old you are, no matter how much you've accomplished professional or personally, there is always room for improvement. And for American women, that improvement starts on the scale.